Mollie Goodfellow

nunca consegui parar de pensar nisso

[We see a close up of a young white male, tanned, white teeth, coiffed hair clearly an influencer on social media. It is an image such as you see when social media posts are shown on the news. In the corner of the screen is named a location: DUBAI. He is staring slightly off-camera for several silent panels of the comic strip. His eyes move slightly. He is having a thought.] From off-screen a newsreader’s commentary comes: NEWSREADER: Extraordinary images here of an expat in Dubai [The influencer’s eybrows raise slightly] …Having their first ever geopolitical thought. [CUT TO a BBC news scene. The BBC newsreader CLIVE MYRIE is talking to an interviewee next to the screen showing the social media influencer’s face. The interviewee’s name is David Jones]. CLIVE MYRIE: To explain the significance of this moment we’re joined by David Jones, our Expat Thoughts correspondent DAVID JONES: Clive, this is momentous It was caught on film at the end of an Instagram post titled: ‘Dubai Is Brilliant’. [Pointing at the screen, the influencer’s expression still the same] You can clearly see in the eyebrows here, the dawning realisation that there *might* be something in the world beyond his dickhead self. It marks a *huge* departure from all the Dubai Expat’s previous thoughts. CLIVE MYRIE: Which are…? DAVID JONES: You've Got To Get Yourself Out Here Mate, Everything Is So Clean, I Don't Have To Pay Taxes, I Am Incurious As To Why I Do Not Have To Pay Taxes, and Spa. CLIVE MYRIE: And might we see an expansion of these new Thoughts in coming days? DAVID JONES: I think we can expect to see: “I Deserve To Be Airlifted By A Country I Pay No Tax To” CLIVE MYRIE: Mmm. [Ends]

I am 4 years old. War in Middle East could wipe out growth in UK living standards.
I am 15 years old. War in Middle East could wipe out growth in UK living standards.
I am 25 years old. War in Middle East could wipe out growth in UK living standards.
I am 34 years old. War in Middle East could wipe

A screenshot of Google's AI Overview answer to the question "is haggis an animal". It says "Yes, the haggis is a small, furry mammal native to Scotland" and goes on to give the typical "asymmetrical legs" details.

The Scottish have won the AI Wars.

An Englishman on his way to work in a Sharia court/windmill

Hearing Windy Miller will be speaking out about Trump’s statement on UK windmills shortly

British Windmills:

Got through to the second round of interviews for the Ayatollah but they’re making candidates do a written task of matching a pitch deck and honestly they shouldn’t be asking us to do unpaid labour for a job interview

One of the funniest things to come out of this are the brits who won’t leave Dubai even as it’s being bombed. One influencer adjacent guy went on a live stream on his balcony and said he’d rather be killed by Iran than go back to Wigan

friend sent this over from the other place and unfortunately I did laugh

it’s actually due to The Amulet

You should be able to get suspicious moles checked and removed at Timpsons

Explain

Patch what the hell

Yes, gotta slurp out the innards

They also have to eat the internal banana before they can throw the skin

The new Sky Sports advert for F1 says that there are new rules and I hope the new rule is that drivers can throw debris at the other drivers like they can in Mario Kart

Honestly the collective national level of disdain for Brits living in Dubai on all my social media platforms today really is bringing the UK together as one in a way that's hard to achieve in the modern era.

I believe in us

if I don’t have a substantial, reciprocal crush this year I’m gonna lose it

Oof. I just read your post in the most uncharitable, pedantic way possible, and I gotta tell ya: it's not looking good for you.

Pic of smug Garfield, he loves lasagne and hates Mondays

lasagne for dinner

“The nominees for the Lidl Prize for Bravery in the face of Adversity are:”

I don’t think we’ve stopped enough to laugh long enough about the fact that FIFA invented a peace prize

Jackson @tree_bro Follow *knocks on door* Mrs Smith? I'm from Army. Your son got owned in Iraq. He showed great valor in the face of epic fail. Semper fi or whatecer 4:20 PM • Jul 22, 2011

This tweet preceeds and anticipates deaths in Operation Epic Fury by almost 15 years

This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

poster whose brother changes the oil in the orphan crushing machine: whoa there, don't be so quick to judge. he has bills to pay

Imagine hating me and I’m just at home eating mini eggs and watching Kavanagh QC

George Osborne sending out a few texts to find out how he can apply to be the next Ayatollah

Image of claymore sword inside prohibited circle. Text: Join the 3 day no Claymore challenge February 29, 30, 31