Scrap Iron

a squirrel is standing on its hind legs in front of a hole . Alt: a squirrel is standing on its hind legs showing it's nuts.

Squirrel!

If only you hadn't have been so busy administering your various love affairs.

Please tell me that you aren't an IT services manager who has always relied on touch screens?

🎶tired of doin' day jobs with no thanks for what you do🎵?

No. But you are minding your mum's.

This is why you should never eat a custard cream if you've never heard the packet be opened.

So is your brother-in-law Superman, Batman or Spiderman?

My day is going terrible. I just found out that The Green Lantern isn't really The Hulk. My whole universe is smashed.

This fess is like a lost episode of Friends.

The One Where All The Cast Couldn't Give A Fuck.

a man in a cowboy hat is sitting in a car with a woman . Alt: Parrots are our friends, young Corleone.

Don Fanucci welcomes yet another breathless vet into the world of lubrication.

Bob Carolgees explains how he hit hard times.

a man in sunglasses is singing into a microphone while playing a keyboard . Alt: Stevie Wonder performs, " Don't Drive Drunk"

Well done, Stevie. But I bet your wife was awake all night.

Keep muttering, "we're all just monkeys in shoes".

a woman is giving a speech at a podium and says that is a disgrace . Alt: Even a sentient lettuce can't endorse this fessor's life-choices.

Not you, Liz, surely?

It's scintillating interview answers like this that is how come Theresa May became the leader of her party.

Serve burritos instead, effe.

Readers swipes.

Your barber was correct.

Now you can never return and have to find another fesshole.

Lara Croft defies the male hegemony

You'll never see a thing if you keep those things on, love.

Insisting that the Monarchy work really hard.

His father was a foolmaker.

Fair enough. Thanks for your response.

I think it is, Kate.
All your comparisons must surely have demonstrated the need for any successive PM to examine all appointments with greater caution. Starmer admits that he knew of M's contact with Pedo-Epstein. An experienced barrister would have chased that evidence.
He is.
But he didn't.

Since when did Cormoran Strike get to be so choosy?

His child will be new grit.

a woman is giving a speech at a podium and says that is a disgrace . Alt: Liz Truss discovers that her propelling pencil has gone missing.

Preach, sister.

Ask not for whom the glass bell tolls, it tolls for free.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

A humblebrag that it's possible to push the boat out in Lincoln.

Shit happens. Just roll in it.