The Artist Who Might Have Been Known As Scott Michael

Shouldn't that read "brababrains"?

"That's right, you're not from Texas
That's right, you're not from Texas
That's right, you're not from Texas
But Texas'll tax you anyway..."

-- Lyle Lovett, feverishly rewriting

::waves from window:: HI DENIS!

I am so tired of waiting.
Aren’t you,
for the world to become good
and less awful instead of more?
I say we take off
and nuke the site from orbit—
it's the only way
to be sure

#LangstonRipley

In an effort to distract myself a bit, I decided to watch Terrifier 2. It was actually doing the trick until the sign in the haunted house that read DANGER CLOWNS.

Somebody should write a book about this time period with that title.

If there's anybody left.

See, what *I* heard was, "The balcony is the safest place to see Jonathan Groff's *thing.*"

Which is why the Keanu moment was even funnier for me than it probably was for you.

Anyway, high frequency hearing loss notwithstanding, I thought it was a great show.

If Mellencamp changes the words to "Pink Houses," I'll consider calling it something other than the Gulf of Mexico.

(Things That'll Never Happen for $50, Alex.)

So what are they gonna do, rename it the USNS Anita Bryant? The Jesse Helms? The Roy Cohn?

I'm sure that'll help bring down the price of a bag with different things in it.

The upside is maybe we'll FINALLY stop hearing "Born in the USA" every July 4th.

(I mean, it's been over 40 years, listen to the whole song, ya Philistines.)

WHY THE HELL NOT NYTIMES

Cardinals are watching ‘Conclave’ the movie for guidance on the actual conclave The 2024 movie is proving a useful primer for clerics about to take part in the real thing to choose the next pope.

Okay, but isn't this kind of Dr. Nick territory? "I've never done defibrillation before but don't worry, I watched The Pitt ..."

Then again, if the next pope is like the one in the movie and all of Trump's cabinet goes Scanners, that might not be so bad.

Last night I had a dream that featured a mashup of Slow Horses and Bram Stoker's Dracula.

You can probably guess how the "winds ... Winds ... WIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDS" scene went.

Judge Slays Firm's Use of Dragon Logo in Filing "The Court is not a cartoon," wrote a federal magistrate judge in response to a law firm's illustrated dragon watermark on court documents.

I am so pleased to be writing for Law.com again! www.law.com/2025/05/02/j...

what is a perfect album that you think all the songs are good?

YouTube video by Alexandra de Suze BinderSuze v. Coffee

Squeeze.
Chappell Roan.
The Avett Brothers.
BinderSuze.

Man, I'm tired.

Between your "less enduringly" and Jericho Cane's Glock nine millimeter ... well, you know the rest. Don't pretend you don't.

... the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie End of Days."

And honestly, I couldn't tell you for sure where my keys are right now, but I only saw End of Days once, and I can still hear Arnold in my head barking "CHOIR BOY" at Gabriel Byrne's Satan.

"Revelation has given us such works as Hieronymus Bosch’s The Last Judgement, William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’, Julia Ward Howe’s ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’, Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal, Ralph Vaughan Williams’s Sancta Civitas, and, less enduringly ...

So I'm reading this book about the end of the world (like you do when you're trying to relax) called "Everything Must Go: The Stories We Tell About the End of the World" and the author says this about the Book of Revelation:

MARCONI EATS THE

YouTube video by Luther Vandross - Topic She Saw You

obviously there were some pretty big gaps in my education, so I've been deep diving lately. I've missed a lot -- "A House is Not A Home," "Any Day Now," "I'd Rather" ... and this, which is like smacking Shaggy upside the head for saying it wasn't him when we all know.

I knew he worked with Bowie, I knew that was his voice scatting on "Part Time Lover," and of course I knew the Eddie Murphy routine and the burger donut story ...

I caught the tail end of a Luther Vandross documentary Stacy was watching the other night, and I realized that I really didn't know very much about him or his work. I knew "Here and Now," "Power of Love," "Dance with My Father," "Never Too Much," "If Only For One Night" ...

So I just attempted to text, "Your own best intentions are no match for someone else's fuckups." This got autocorrected to "Your own best intentions are no match for someone else's cyclops."

This has been Today in Both Are True, Actually.

I can't recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the days when I wasn't shouting WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK at a news alert.

Last night I dreamt of a fiber supplement marketed by Gene Simmons with an ad that featured, no doubt to Paul Stanley's chagrin as well as my own, a rewrite of Lick It Up called Leaky Gut.

And happy Unfortunate Earworm Day to you, too.

Niche humor.

Or Nietzsche humor.