The Artist Who Might Have Been Known As Scott Michael

Aww, I thought at least Madison Cunningham might have made your playlist lately. She seems compatible with Elton Carlisle.

I should be around in the neck at that time! I would adore to be seen by you!

This was mine today. It really did the trick. That GUV track is like an unreleased Fountains of Wayne/Ivy collab.

Congratulations, Lee Brice and "It Ain't Easy Being Country," for making "Butterfly Kisses" sound like "War Pigs." I sure hope change comes swiftly so you don't feel weird about kissing your fish.

🤦🏻‍♂️

I mean, this is what happens when you throw in with these guys: You put all this effort into your verses on "Biggest Freak" and "Dang a Lang" and "Wanna Minaj?" and they STILL mix you up with Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B.

Whatever happened to usury?
People paid
What we said
And they kept on paying till they all were dead
How we s'posed to get ahead?
Whatever happened to usury?

-- Trump, writing a letter to Davos

What an embarrassment.

I can't be the first one to clock this and it admittedly takes me longer to catch up these days, but I just noticed "Vance" is an anagram for "Vecna."

Probably just a coincidence.

Shouldn't that read "brababrains"?

"That's right, you're not from Texas
That's right, you're not from Texas
That's right, you're not from Texas
But Texas'll tax you anyway..."

-- Lyle Lovett, feverishly rewriting

::waves from window:: HI DENIS!

I am so tired of waiting.
Aren’t you,
for the world to become good
and less awful instead of more?
I say we take off
and nuke the site from orbit—
it's the only way
to be sure

#LangstonRipley

In an effort to distract myself a bit, I decided to watch Terrifier 2. It was actually doing the trick until the sign in the haunted house that read DANGER CLOWNS.

Somebody should write a book about this time period with that title.

If there's anybody left.

See, what *I* heard was, "The balcony is the safest place to see Jonathan Groff's *thing.*"

Which is why the Keanu moment was even funnier for me than it probably was for you.

Anyway, high frequency hearing loss notwithstanding, I thought it was a great show.

If Mellencamp changes the words to "Pink Houses," I'll consider calling it something other than the Gulf of Mexico.

(Things That'll Never Happen for $50, Alex.)

So what are they gonna do, rename it the USNS Anita Bryant? The Jesse Helms? The Roy Cohn?

I'm sure that'll help bring down the price of a bag with different things in it.

The upside is maybe we'll FINALLY stop hearing "Born in the USA" every July 4th.

(I mean, it's been over 40 years, listen to the whole song, ya Philistines.)

WHY THE HELL NOT NYTIMES

Cardinals are watching ‘Conclave’ the movie for guidance on the actual conclave The 2024 movie is proving a useful primer for clerics about to take part in the real thing to choose the next pope.

Okay, but isn't this kind of Dr. Nick territory? "I've never done defibrillation before but don't worry, I watched The Pitt ..."

Then again, if the next pope is like the one in the movie and all of Trump's cabinet goes Scanners, that might not be so bad.

Last night I had a dream that featured a mashup of Slow Horses and Bram Stoker's Dracula.

You can probably guess how the "winds ... Winds ... WIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDS" scene went.

Judge Slays Firm's Use of Dragon Logo in Filing "The Court is not a cartoon," wrote a federal magistrate judge in response to a law firm's illustrated dragon watermark on court documents.

I am so pleased to be writing for Law.com again! www.law.com/2025/05/02/j...

what is a perfect album that you think all the songs are good?

YouTube video by Alexandra de Suze BinderSuze v. Coffee

Squeeze.
Chappell Roan.
The Avett Brothers.
BinderSuze.

Man, I'm tired.

Between your "less enduringly" and Jericho Cane's Glock nine millimeter ... well, you know the rest. Don't pretend you don't.

... the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie End of Days."

And honestly, I couldn't tell you for sure where my keys are right now, but I only saw End of Days once, and I can still hear Arnold in my head barking "CHOIR BOY" at Gabriel Byrne's Satan.

"Revelation has given us such works as Hieronymus Bosch’s The Last Judgement, William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’, Julia Ward Howe’s ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’, Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal, Ralph Vaughan Williams’s Sancta Civitas, and, less enduringly ...

So I'm reading this book about the end of the world (like you do when you're trying to relax) called "Everything Must Go: The Stories We Tell About the End of the World" and the author says this about the Book of Revelation:

MARCONI EATS THE