🚸

Famiresu... Man...
I mean... This ending leaves fanfic possibilities for sure, but... Praying & begging that that next work Wayama Yama wants to start in a damn YEAR will still be about them... Please...

Almost had a genuine panic attack for having to talk in front of people & my wife simply goes "Mob core fr"

If anyone's on mastodon...
#霊モブ #ReiMob

baraag.net/@Mobsession/...

adding to the stress tbh. Like, she's trying to be there for me but I end up feeling like I have to reassure her.

I... Idk there's so much more in my head & but at least crying makes tired so I really should make use of that & sleep.

reminds me & I burst & end up like rn: bawling my eyes out in the middle of the night for hours.
Hoping my wife won't notice tomorrow morning, because she's been very worried about me these past months, even when I don't let her know half of the time, cause while I know she means well her worry is

get back into creating for myself, but even if it didn't feel pointless, I feel uninspired & empty... Nothing comes of it.

Distraction helps, of course, because I'm the master of avoidance & bottling up. So it works, sometimes 2 weeks, sometimes 2 days, until I have too long to myself & something

no ideal single person solution to a loss of community, unfortunately, only "make the best of it"s. I'm trying.)
I've tried addressing it in the one 1:1 sitting I had since, but that didn't really go somewhere, half of it was spent trying to even explain what this all is about.

I've tried to simply

can't address.
(Why? I have group therapy where the intention is learning skills that can benefit us all, not addressing weird niche issues. Yes, I am trying to use these skills to address my weird niche issue but all the things aiding me in other situations can't seem to console me here. There is

This really impacts me badly. Not just so badly that I would need to talk about it in therapy, but so badly that for the past months I have felt like therapy, even though discussing certainly important topics, was not helping me much anymore because I'm so preoccupied with this primary hurt, which I

/vent to void

I really need to do smth, I just really don't know what.

Existing servers aren't an option & neither is making my own, when it wasn't before then certainly isn't now anymore, especially not after all I posted for nearly half a year were glimpses into my continuous breakdowns.

Ok about to meet with two girlies from the Korean Christ.an mission because I'm unable to say no.

Let's see if I'll end up becoming Chr.stian & stop committing sins, maybe then I'll get over mp100 fandom

That I can't find connection & get back into fandom is one thing but that I sometimes can't enjoy this series on my own devices anymore fucking hurts ngl

Mp100 brought me so much joy & now I randomly start bursting into tears while cleaning the kitchen because 1 came up in the playlist
I hate this shit. I don't want what brought me so much comfort & legit got me believing I can live a life that is right for *me* to cause me to have breakdowns

End of last year I dreamed that crowtoes was back & I helped her host a late round of Mobstocking & it was fun

My wife says I should just post smth to ease myself back into because I keep crying over missing fandom every few days. Since over three months now. It's humiliating.
I don't think this will help.

#💬 Sometimes things that really should make me happy make me cry & keep thinking of deleting all my accs instead. Idk why. Why I cry for the third time & have that desire to flee & drop all ambitions I ever had in this fandom

don't be embarrassed to leave a comment on a fic. writing the fic and putting your whole ass out there is way more potentially embarrassing than "admitting" you liked it

Karaoke Iko! manga panel where Kyouji says: "He's suuuch a kid. Heh heh heh..."

speaks to me in ways it certainly wasn't meant to

"I need to leave now…" I said, even though when abducted, that was surely unwise to announce. Kyouji hummed a gentle tune. The car was parked. Outside was a crowd of people bustling in the streets, ready to swallow me up and conceal all traces. The door was unlocked. Kyouji's deep voice was worryingly soothing. I stayed in the car. Of course, fear sometimes made it hard to move, so it was only natural. When I woke up I wanted to go back to sleep. Comfortably in Kyouji's passenger seat, lulled by his melodic spell.

#狂聡 snippet hmm

こっちにも！
最終回は何回見ても涙が滲む🥲

イチャイチャしっぱい

狂聡🔞NSFW
背面騎乗位

hope for it a little. And certainly Reigen has greedy thoughts scratching at the back of his mind, while Mob is boneless in his shirt in his bed & soon in his arm because he kept inviting him to bed & he's still worried he'll choke, but he's used to keeping them locked there. They simply cuddle.

Not even thinking of Reigen taking advantage, just of helping him puke, and wash up a little and get him into a comfy borrowed shirt to sleep in & of Mob feeling warm & dizzy & so grateful that Reigen is there while he feels strange & vulnerable.
Maybe Mob wonders if Reigen will take advantage &-

can't leave Mob alone in his dorm like he is now, he's completely out of it & what if he chokes on his puke in his sleep? So home to Reigen they go. And that's how Reigen ends up with a roofied Mob in his bed without having done anything wrong.

#霊モブ
Mob gets roofied on his first party but he notices how weird he feels & doesn't want his family to know, so he texts Reigen & tells him he's unwell & if he can maybe help him home. When Reigen arrives someone's just about to come onto Mob & Reigen's just about to knee them in the guts.
He-

#ccsdspg
yeah mob would be too kind to reigen and would try not to touch him with his teeth, but still leave a couple of scratches accidentally
reigen totally deserve it tho

love will always find a way🧍‍♂️🧜

human/mermaid reimob

Then again there has also been lycahugo smut that has been haunting me a while & I didn't write anything down.

I think I might unknowingly be in this "there is this one thing I gotta finish writing first" mindset & it causes me to barely write at all, hmm...