Gabbi Bolt

Omg bluesky sorry I’ve been away for a MINUTE but in that time I wrote a show anyway it’s at Adelaide Fringe rn and you guys have been so nice!

Piecing together some stuff for my next show and found a newspaper article from when I was 16 showing that my only aspiration in life was to be insufferable.

I understand sport now.

Apple Cider Vinegar is actually just a front for reuniting seemingly the entire cast of Dance Academy

Sometimes I forget that on a random Thursday Arts Centre Melbourne just let me do this

Can’t ethically post faces of people I don’t know but I need you to realise the DIVAS I’m witnessing in front of the Putricia livestream

I know I need to create more than I consume but do you understand what I CREATE when I CONSUME 7 glasses of wine?

“You’ve gotta make mistakes so you can learn and grow” cool when is the learn and grow bit? I just feel like from 1996 to now my life has been: “okay oop don’t do that again”

Nothing makes me feel more in control than mowing the lawn UGH maybe I’ll do some WEEDING

Christmas Eve (Gremlins) Gabbi Bolt · Dreaming of a Green Christmas · Song · 2020

“Put it on Spotify put it on spotify” it’s maybe the only song of mine that is open.spotify.com/track/5w0LAp...

“Gabbi write a Christmas song Gabbi write a Christmas song” like 6 years ago I did and every year I whip it out like I’m being forced to entertain the family by my grandmother

We were inspired and held our own pie fuelled reading of Julius Caesar. Definitely recommend!!

Coup is such a cunty word for what it is

A year or so ago I did a talk at a public high school in my hometown where one half of the gymnasium was just full of individual desks (like 50 or so) and I said "oh exams?" and they said "no this is just where kids come when their class doesn't have a teacher" so adding this to that is coolcoolcool

Finding out that Australia is one of the only countries that publicly funds private schools at this level is one of those “Oh this country really is nothing like the myths it tells itself” moments.

I’d love it to be a bug

Bluesky if you don’t want me to discard my drafts I beg of you to let me save them. Thank u for thinking I’m funny tho

Like quite genuinely, whole show of this, is it too grim? Hahahhaha

In my hands, I have five already-sent invoices.
Only one will pay me before Christmas.

I add lmao to things when I'm feeling vulnerable

If I did a show of serious songs and not comedy songs would you still like me? My entire self worth has been based on Hee Hee Ha Ha currency for the last 3 years so thinking about turning away from it scares me lmaooo

Arrest warrants issued for genocidal babykiller, Benjamin Netanyahu  - The Shot The ICC has proven it has eyes and brains and has issued warrants to arrest Benjamin Netanyahu and Yoav Gallant for crimes against humanity.

Dave Milner’s words.

theshot.net.au/uncategorize...

Also it does make me laugh that I get to host a night about filmmaking, and yet can so confidently make this kind of mistake during the afterparty.

Also did NOT beg a for a role in a film and that’s on professionalism and maturity.

(Though I am super available and willing and my email is GabbiBolt@hotmail.com and I’m currently freelance so u know what that means, irrelevant and cheaaaaapppp)

Honored to have hosted the Australian Directors Guild Awards tonight, I am in a room full of professional famous industry film directors, meanwhile I did my make up and a baby-wipe pits n bits bath in the 12 minute Uber over here. Love a bit of High Brow Low Brow xoxoxo

The difference between rotting and relaxing is lighting a scented candle

Hahahahahaha “dishwasher”

Hey I would love to know, so I’m 28, is it normal to have no passion or aspiration left in me anymore? Also how to effectively clean specifically this side of the cheese grater k thanks

This is niche but why have we as a society not increased bobbin capacity in the last 50 years? I can get a spool of thread the size of my thigh but I still have to wind like 17 bobbins if I wanna sew something. Just give me a big booty machine that can fit a CD sized bobbin.

people are always saying that they’re scared of “dying alone” I am not scared of dying alone I am scared of dying in a sharehouse