J. Michael Mull

*grandchildren listening to an AI version of me*

Ghost Me: Is that really what my voice sounds like?

Cardinal Dolan chasing JD Vance around the White House lawn with a wooden paddle while Yakety Sax plays in the background

the part-wolf pups went on to raise a little wolf girl named Kate

plans are woke

😆

@hyapatialee.bsky.social It is with profound sorrow that we bid farewell to Chester Nez, the last of the first 29 Navajo men who created a code from their language that stumped the Japanese in World War II, has passed away of kidney failure.

Chucky Schumer has to know his ass is out of there in 2028 so he's not gonna stick his neck out for anything

Review: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’m not a crier. I cried.

Joel Edgerton, star of the movie, outside log cabin staring at presumably his toddler daughter

Oscar Viewing Party For One - Tonight's Nominee:
Train Dreams | Directed by Clint Bentley

to be fair, the balding combover is the vainest of hairstyles

Oklahoma did that shit back in 2010 after Barack HUSEIN Obama was elected. it's nothing new

How I arrived on Bluesky

he actually sounds even more foolish when he's sober

Abandonment issues? How could I have abandonment issues when I'm constantly being monitored by government officials online?! SHOUT OUT TO MY BOY, CECIL! But I would sound like a cad if I didn't fully accept your kind words, so thank you wholeheartedly. (please don't embarrass me in front of Cecil)

yes, they really are as stupid as you think they are.

I occasionally write gibberish over on Reddit that gets thousands of thumbs up, or likes, or whatever system I receive notifications about, and then I come here and get zilch. Thank you all for having higher standards. Keep it up

they were talking up the Iraq War Part 2 with religious fervor, too. It’s not new. It’s just a way to keep a lot of their servicemen inline

her new private jet comes with a cuck chair

learning that Kristi (with an i) Noem’s cuck husband spells his name Bryon and now I have something else stupid to annoy myself about

Think less of me, but I call it Paper Scissors Rock, and I refuse to accept Rock Paper Scissors. There is a finality to rock that you do not get from scissors. It's the reason you all say Shoot! at the end. The pros know Shoot! only adds an unnecessary fourth beat. I am angry just thinking about it

After the election, I said Democrats need to rebrand as the "party of opportunity," which is unquestionably positive-sounding and also entirely meaningless. Perfect patter. I stand by that assertion.

everything I've learned about Graham Platner has been against my will, and it is absolutely foul

Woke 2 was invented by the insomniac community

not to brag, but I was just ranked number 5 on the list of Hollywood’s highest paid misleading men

I can't wait for Hegseth to meet Jesus

Review: ⭐️

throwing every post-modern gimmick in the book at directorial mental masturbation

screenshot from the movie Bugonia lead actress sitting in an expensive looking chair in her mansion (I assume) wearing a red light mask and looking at her phone

Oscar Viewing Party For One - Tonight's Nominee:
Bugonia | Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

why would anyone block me? I'm just minding my own business over here blocking people

something tells me it'll never catch on