Aidan Truhen

a woman talking on a phone with the words " sure fine whatever " below her Alt: Gillian Anderson talking on a phone with the words " sure fine whatever " below her

Okey-dokey.

Are you sure? I would LOVE to explain I have reasons

You could always shave your entire body and install an ice dip instead of the shredder. It’s not like you need a shredder.

No I completely get why people would expect me to be disposing of corpses I hate everyone and have poor impulse control

You should definitely read all of this thread and then go read The Price You Pay because Aidan is a living treasure and also quite maladapted

Sir, this is an Arby's

(Thread breaks multiple times, so to avoid that, go to this one, scroll all the way up, visit the bathroom, grab a drink and a snack, then SETTLE IN.)

bsky.app/profile/aida...

When I lock myself in a room naked to write a novel no one calls it inspiring I am doing this wrong.

Hi Mom it is great to see you

And that is how I came to have a story with a moral component but honestly I do not know what that moral is.

The End.

*un-friend not in-friend what even is that?

They show me to the door and I never see my doomed desperate fuckhead un-friend again but apparently later he is forensically accountable if you look real hard that part is unpleasant.

It was not a good feeling at all

The only part of this I understand is the guy who wrote I WAS A WALL STREET SEX UNICORN AND I PENETRATED BITCOIN WITH MY ENORMOUS SPANGLED HORN that man is a fucking artist

Spicer points at me and he says:

THE CUP PEES INTO YOU!

Wtf?

But he is laughing so hard and Mount Basketball is laughing and a lot of the tension is out of the room now

I fucking love that line it is SO bad, says Spicer

Just To Be Clear says this guy Spicer, You Do Not Work In My Business? And no I do not I am on the narrow I am -

And at this point Mount Basketball McNoFat leans down and says something to Spicer and they get real focused and I wonder if I will die now

Spicer looks at me and he says Where The Fuck Do You Get Off? And I say: hi I am Aidan hi and have no fucking idea what is going on here but my current inclination is that this desperate fuckhead just threw me out of the plane is that about it?

I am getting thinner just by standing near this individual and Spicer looks at me and says This Is The Guy? And my friend says yeah and looks like he just shot his own dog and I realise I am all set up. I’m here to take a beating for this asshole who was my friend.

Twice over because now here is some dapper young fella in expensive athleisure with scars on his face who goes by Spicer and with him is a nameless walking eclipse who is not introduced but this mofo is basketball tall and not one gram of fat like his body fat percentage is a fucking negative number

Now he wants me to come to the meet which I do not want but there somehow we both are in some basement under some bar and eff em ell

So he wants to borrow a couple hundred to get it back that’s all and I’m like man come on I was not born yesterday I have travelled this road before he says no I know how it sounds but let me lie some more but what I hear is honest fear and I say ok

Tee ell dee arr this idiot got himself on debt over heroin and now his dealer has taken his work computer as security and there is shit on that machine that should not be out of his hands like it is some significantly privileged burn before reading textual exegesis

Oh man go do your teeth it’ll be a minute there is fucking event

He says Aidan you have to help me I’m really scared I say ok because we are friends so now I’m his Bad Hombre Therapist. What seems to be the trouble he says well I really like heroin I say that’s called addiction you incredibly stupid fuck and he says naw man it’s just cool and we do that a while.

I say man I am not your guy I do not have truck with Bad Hombres I am strictly on the narrow I am in fact a paragon of lawfulness the cup pees into me wait no that’s not o fuck it

And then one day BOOM: Aidan I need your help like yours specifically. And I say how so and he says well it has to do with some Bad Hombres like he actually says Bad Hombres capitalised like if you say the Spanish word with a H it’s less messed up which it is not.

So here was this guy and here was I and we drank coffee and spoke of things men speak of by which I mean not sports or women or the Roman Empire but the Swiss Water Method and how David Bowie and Tilda Swinton are negative energy twins that is science.

This is how tech assholes come to call everyone else NPCs and no it is not that those people are not real it is that they are scared and flawed and that is human but I don’t always get it

Crap I have a call I will tell you the rest later

I was flattered that he liked me because he was this golden child and I do not make friends often because people are strange. Like they make noises that sound like they are telling you about their rich inner lives but then they do things which suggest they do not have one.