Max

Love :<

I was reflecting on a lot of moments in my life today while I was cleaning my phone I guess, and this is an emotion thats been really raw for me lately as my ex-wife (a transwoman) continues to try and ruin my life and make me homeless.

And the experience of being Othered by my fellow transfems has shaped a very. Unforgiving and harsh view towards the way a lot of transfems socialize. I dont even know why I am posting this I guess. Just to vent.

Ironically, it is cismen who have historically been the chillest and most respectful to me. And so sometimes when I post stuff like that it is a cathartic way of doubling down, saying that I will become whatever distortion of me they see if that is what they want. I live a very lonely life-

Ironically, they have done to me historically what they hate done to them by cisppl. I am shoved into a box crafted from their experiences and expectations and told to conform. If I don't, I am ostracized or treated with disdain, like a problem child. I get it from both sides, trans and cis.

Ironically, they have done to me historically what they hate done to them by cisppl. I am shoved into a box crafted from their experiences and expectations and told to conform. If I don't, I am ostracized or treated with disdain, like a problem child. I get it from both sides, trans and cis.

Also that is why I post that image in jest about hating women. If I am honest, basically all the tranwomen I have met irl and a significant chunk of the ones I have met online have treated me this way. Like I am something in their way, preventing them from being accepted or something-

I think about that a lot. Sometimes I feel defeated, or self conscious. But lately I have been embracing my self-confidence. To that, I would say now, skill issue. If thats the case then the world will simply have to change for me. And i will make it happen. And do :)

A transwoman irl told me one time at a group (that i stopped going to shortly after this) that i cant expect people to get my pronouns or understand my relationship with gender because "the world just isn't ready for that." Just dismissed my existence with a handwave for her own convenience.

The last year of my life has really made me believe that so many people just dont live in reality. Be it a simplified, coddled view of other people that brings them comfort or a vitriolic and hateful one. Left and right and everywhere between in America. We just are so deep in unreality

Huge “Laguna Azul” painting with what feels almost like a take on the world tree or axis mundi.

Work by Alfredo Arreguin, a local artist from Mexico who I hadn’t heard about before. It’s all like this, big forceful stuff with tons of detail. He sounds like he just zoned out and cranked painting semi-consciously.

one time my friend kit and i read the entire blog of a man detailing his efforts to cut off his own penis and all the preparation as well as the hospital visit after he did it. including pictures. where else can you find that, tell me

going through my phone has me nostalgic for pre-porn ban tumblr. the insane niche clique drama, the absolutely unhinged discourse, the never ending flow of people interacting with each other, etc, etc. it was very good and very bad but the very bad could also be entertaining.

oooooooooooooooh i hate him so much i wish the middle to upper class white people of california would stop eating out of the palm of his hand

I got the HVAC one

period

Upon further consideration this is my ex **

I rifled through over 2k files today and theres still a little under 14k left 😭

I have so many of his insane meltdowns saved lmfao

i could use a schadenfreude driven spectacle like that again

i forgot i had a ton of transcripts from the vic mignogna trial saved on my phone lmfao

I am cleaning out my phone btw is the spam

IFYKYK with this one lmao