Spag 🙃

I thought we’re in talks to take this away anyway? So we can do both things. This is not a deal. I love the thought of him snotting and snivelling over a picture of his mother though. Fucking shithouse.

Exciting news just in from my bedside table: I just found two rogue sleeping pills so goodbye for 14 hours

I had to google what that is. Apparently it wasn’t hit directly though? The fire was from interception debris

I’ve come to the conclusion it’s a postcode lottery, and also where your GP decides for overflow. Let me know how it goes!!

Omg congratulations! I have to wait two more months. I hope it goes really well x

Never!

I have become a lot more blocky for much less on this app and that’s making it a much more pleasant place 🩷🫶🏼

That is not even slightly comparable.

I think perhaps just unfollow me since I have disappointed you so.

I just don’t think it’s my job. It’s also not your job. Neither of us have an in-depth understanding of that job. Everyone likes to believe they’d do a better job. Nobody has.

Also that reply was really patronising and I don’t like that tone whatsoever, Xander.

This app is becoming a bit “your silence on puffins is deafening”

Peep Show "That wasn't very Christmassy" meme but the text says "That's wasn't very FIFA Peace Prizey" I'm meme posting in an attempt to make the despair at world events, even though they're being orchestrated from the other side of the world, you see.

computer, I wish to know more about humor

my replies on here

This is amazing.

www.getyourfuckingmoneyback.com

I’m glad of the dark humour tbh

It does not.

I’m a marketing manager.

This is giving “girls FTW!”

Keir Starmer steps on a rake

Danny Wallace Follow @dannywallace Board of Peace immediately bored of peace

But it’s paper planes and they were meant to send them from the blank A4 pad but someone’s accidentally printed top secret classified stuff and used that. No one resigns.

That was an extremely wet holiday. The sea was wet, the rain was wet. I likely have trench foot but it was lovely falling asleep to the sound of waves.

I don’t want anyone taking part to win

I know you’re joking- but I am actually. I’m incredibly positive a lot of the time and my favourite thing to do is laugh.
I just thought people might like to know 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh I missed that. They’re so important so thank god.

Rory Stewart and Alistair Campbell absolutely panic-spunking about making sure they get their opinions out today I reckon

I’ve got fucking period cramps radiating up my spine and I’m desperate to make it someone else’s problem

But we have distanced ourselves? The USA or Israel won’t bomb our military bases which is likely why the only warning he sent out was to Iran who would potentially go for us. What would you ideally like Starmer to do?

Yeah but they could just come here? Instagram?

I also think if you’re still on Twitter and saying “on this hellsite” regularly, it’s on par with “what are your thoughts on pineapple on pizza?” Or “can’t believe you just used the word moist”