Derek Sheen

This administration needs to be dragged behind a tank until they stop leaving a stain.
(Eats a Snickers…nothing changes. Still feels the same)

Man, this is like if Nathan Fielder did a Dumb World War III.

The Ayatollah just died. I heard they regenerate and the third one will have a whimsical taste for jelly bellies, science-related puns, and wear a top hat.

This insane, totally incompetent administration needs to crippled completely before they kill us all.

We should all be worried if a desiccated corpse can be a 3d term president. Otherwise, I think we’ll be okay.

Tonsil stones. He was spitting them all over the podium during the SOTU. It’s a sign that his tonsils are infected, probably explaining why he’s receiving intravenous injections in his hands. He’s probably also battling pneumonia.

The year is 2046: A group of masked TrumpCorp officials shoot protestors at the health casino. A reporter from FreePressWithCBS asks Don Jr's VP for life JD Vance about the shooting:
"Unfortunately, this, is a problem we inherited from the Biden administration"

The key word here is “former” because we have a current president who has been much closer.

“Couch Fucking Meat Shield Wants To Defund Wisconsin Healthcare”-should be the headline.

Jesus, did Fetterman fuck a Cub Scout?

I think we should encourage him to try this for real and lower those flags in advance.

Spread this FAR AND WIDE.

Trump: "'President, I'd love to kiss you' -- this is a very powerful man. I don't want to be kissed my that man. But a very powerful, strong man ... he said, 'Sir, I want to kiss you so badly.' And I said, 'No thank you.'"

Jesus, this is like watching Lenny Bruce near the end.

Jesus, he’s giving Abe Simpson-level incoherent rambling.

“Wayne Dingus” is the sound a slide trombone makes when it impersonates a horse whinny.

Trump reaches up and pulls down an old banged up can of Yuban coffee from the tariff shelf. He pulls off the lid and removes the gun, wrapped in a kitchen towel, that was hiding inside…

Is it fair to say that the Trump regime is actually dumber than President Camacho's government in Idiocracy? Camacho, after all, ultimately empowers a smart guy (Luke Wilson) to actually solve society's problems. Ain't no Luke Wilson among the grifters and sycophants that surround Trump these days.

All I’m saying is, some of you have been a little hasty in writing phrenology off as a science.

What an about like a pink triangle, or some kind of tattoo that signifies we’re officially registered so we no longer need our IDs?

It’s like how the Bluth’s do an impression of a chicken.

Hero

3/3-I don’t need you to high-horse me with your self-righteous, holier-than-thou bullshit about ‘violent rhetoric’.
Just let me have my thing. It makes me happy.

2/3-releasing the contents of his bowels with full force, in an explosively wet shart that shoots up his back, painting his neck in brownish-black sewage, and instead of slumping to the ground he’s unfortunately half-suspended in mid-air, as the antenna holds his weight, like a grim hood ornament”

1/3-When I say something like, “I wish Trump would trip and fall on the hood of a vintage ‘67 Dodge Dart, driving the radio antenna up his nose and into his brain, making his eyes roll back in his head until the whites turn bright pink, and he loses all muscle control

They are so f’n good!!

This deserves a Pulitzer