Christian 🦇

Not all haunted dolls are Victorian, but all Victorian dolls are haunted

Unhinging my jaw and swallowing unruly children whole for some fucking peace and quiet on international women's day

All I'm saying is I've lost more than an hour being a woman.

If you roll your eyes when a billionaire CEO does an unintended public humiliation ritual, but then cheer when other billionaire CEOs uncreatively compete to outdo him to sell you things, you're probably also entertained by watching someone jingle keys in front of you.

Please eat arbys products

You know the shark. 🦈
You love the movie. 🎥
But do you know the absolute chaos behind it? 🥃

THE SHARK IS BROKEN is on stage Mar. 11 - Apr. 5 at
@strazcenter.bsky.social and performances are selling out! Book now! 🎟️: www.strazcenter.org/events/2526-...

📸: James Zambon Productions.

Our marketing people suggested we do something to encourage customers to trust us so we blew up an elementary school full of children.

Please enjoy arbys

I told you guys you shouldn't trust anyone who hasn't been poor and now look.

I try. 6 years of weekly therapy down and no end in sight.

Oh they almost always are! That's why I avoid them!

Ouch

Ouch. Why would you say that?

Meet the Winners of the 2026 Richard Rodgers Awards The annual honor goes to talented composers and playwrights, with past winners including Jonathan Larson, Anaïs Mitchell, and more.

You can see one of these 2026 Richard Rodgers Award winners this summer when we present PENELOPE starring Artistic Associate Colleen Cherry-Vallin!
playbill.com/article/meet...

Hearing those dogs barking from Jane's Addiction's 'been caught stealing' every time I turn on the news.

Holding my breath until I explode into a cloud of swirling bats

Christopher Marshall as Roy Scheider. THE SHARK IS BROKEN lands at @strazcenter.bsky.social Mar. 11 for a limited run. Today, the lowest price and best availability can be found for the Mar. 11 7:30 show or 4pm on Mar. 21. 🎟️: www.strazcenter.org/events/2526-...

*taking all my beads from mardi gras and using my saliva to fashion a glittery shield for my exoskeleton

Leaving a handful of teeth under my pillow so the succubus knows it's more of a casual thing

One (black licorice). Need to try again? One (oysters)

🫂

I'm not goth. I'm redacted.

*cut to me freebasing kinetic sand with a haggard geoffrey behind the abandoned toys r us.

You'll probably die of a disease that could be cured or prevented by an absolutely stupid amount of money you don't have.

Many corporations each spent 10 or 100 times that to make 30-second displays of flickering lights to sell you garbage during a football game.

Please eat arbys for some reason

Never.

Just a quick reminder that being called a loser by a fascist is a compliment.

the Epstein files are really devastating because they remind me of how many girls and women miss out on professional opportunities, mentorship and careers because of how many powerful, rich and influential men only view girls and women — and interactions with them — through the lens of sex

I used to think I was the hotwire a Jeep and strike out to find others type of zombie apocalypse person, but now I know myself to be barricade myself indoors with all of the weapons and a death wish type of zombie apocalypse person.

*Status update*

*slipping the DJ $20 so he'll play Skinny Puppy Tin Omen at my daughter's elementary school Valentine's dance*