RednBlackSalamander

Never forget that this is happening because the JCPOA was an Obama thing

It's Kash Patel's birthday, go do all your big federal crimes now because you know he's not getting any work done today or tomorrow

I accidentally Discoursed and might have to chill here for a bit until it blows over, how's everyone doing

Trump's so much happier doing the stupid sports bullshit than actually being president, just retire and go be a TV host again man, it'll be better for literally everybody

Potentially the most dangerous position in Trump's America. We actually won the lottery by getting a guy who'd rather do this

Jesus, they weren't kidding about Bluesky...

I read this entire article and I'm still not entirely sure why people get so mad at him.

Shoulda read the fine print, lol

ICE set up an office in this New Windsor, NY building a few months ago, and for some strange reason, never bothered telling anyone.

That stupid song is stuck in my head but I've heard so many parodies that it's not even the real lyrics anymore, just an endless loop of "I just wanna cut my fish, feed my truck, drink my dog, wear my grass"

I keep trying to explain that the towers are still there, we just can't see them because they've been painted blue to blend in with the sky. Finally the American people are waking up

Stay frosty

we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad

This needs to happen every time these people leave the house, even just to check the mailbox, forever

It's easy to say that when you didn't just watch her get airlifted off a mountain screaming in agony from shattered bones. Of course he doesn't have a say, but it's a completely human reaction and such a stupid thing to get mad about.

My old high school deleted their entire Alumni Hall of Fame list in 2021 just so they could get rid of Megyn Kelly's name without looking biased lmao

This is a thing parents do when they're scared. Part of growing up is realizing that you don't have to listen to them, but they're never going to stop, and that's fine.

Can we please not cancel a guy for being freaked out after watching his daughter almost die on live TV

Oh my god you actually missed the sarcasm didn't you

Oh, you thought your little tradwife homestead in the countryside would let you escape the cyberpunk dystopia? Say hello to Dr. Grok who's going to treat your heart palpitations with an Amazon ad for brake fluid

Actually, only fascists sucker punch. When the left does it, it's called "spontaneous kinetic accountability."

Springsteen's new song isn't particularly good, but it's a hopeful sign that the "Minneapolis beat Trump" narrative is so universally accepted that even the Final Boss of Boomers himself is singing about it. MAGA lives and dies on memes and this one makes them look very weak.

They should have snowshoeing in the Winter Olympics and you win by finding the quietest clearing to sit and think about stuff

*Up at 1am crossing out all my depressing Minneapolis cartoon ideas and frantically trying to come up with inspirational ones*

They're sending him back to the interrogation department

Fuck it, anything that makes people take climate change seriously

All it would take to reassure normie conservatives is "Yes, this was a tragedy, but ICE promises to be more careful from now on." Instead they see these sweaty incel rants about carpet bombing American cities and how Alex Pretti had the skull dimples of the perfidious Jew. MAGA is unsustainable.

I didn't think I could lose any more respect for Obama after he produced a movie about how Havana Syndrome makes your teeth fall out, but this weak-ass statement might do it

I'm not reading all that, call Trump a fat pedophile and donate a million dollars to anyone who primaries the Dems who voted for ICE funding. Get in the fucking game bro