MistleVent

everyone else would be better off if they forgot me

bun unimportant

bunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriendbunisbadpersonbunisbadfriend

bunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawfulbunisbadbunisawful

bun is bad person and is sorry for always being so emotionally heck, she trying to get therapy but for some heck reason it harder than it should be, bun sorry for maling everyone have to deal with her heckness all the time

bun wish she could just be stable for fucking pmce and not burden people

bun is a bad person
bun is a bad friend
bun is a bad partner

bun will never be cute, bun will never be pretty, bun will never be adorable, bun will never be beautiful, bun will never be loveable, bun will never be worth the time, bun will never be useful, bun will never be worthy, bun will never be happy, bun will never be loved or cared for

bun will never be cute, bun will never be pretty, bun will never be adorable, bun will never be beautiful, bun will never be loveable, bun will never be worth the time, bun will never be useful, bun will never be worthy, bun will never be happy, bun will never be loved or cared for

bun will always be ignored, bun will always be a bother, bun will always be hated, bun will always be left out, bun will always be shunned, bun will always be avoided, bun will always be alone, bun will always be alone, bun will always be alone bun will always be alome bun will always be alone

bunwishbunknewhowtomakefriends

bun will always be replaced, bun will always be over looked, bun will always be over shadowed, bun will always be forgotten, bun will always tossed aside, bun will always be lesser, bun will always be unwanted

bununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununlovedbununwantedbununloved

bun wish was good at drawing
bun wish was good at talking
bun wish was good at gaming
bun wish was good and sewing
bun wish was good at cooking
bun wish was good at painting
bun wish was good looking
bun wish was cute and adorable
bun wish was worthy of good things and loving

honestly part of me is just waiting for people to get tired of me being like this and get pushed away, it fucling scares me and i dont want to push people away but with how depressing i always am i feelblike its just inevitable and i feel like somehow im just guilttripping people into staying

bun realizing that her life has been relatively uneventful, that nothing of note as really happened, no interesting or fun stories to share, no fond memories to really look back on, just nothing

if bun was a dnd character her backstory would be just one sentence, barely even (1/11)

bun is the worstworstworstworstworstworstworstworstworstworstworstworstworsworst worst ever

sorry again for this period of bun being an emotional bitch, please be patient with me

and if i am im sorry

honestly part of me is just waiting for people to get tired of me being like this and get pushed away, it fucling scares me and i dont want to push people away but with how depressing i always am i feelblike its just inevitable and i feel like somehow im just guilttripping people into staying

tacking on that bun never feels like shes actively being invited to thins ever, only reasons people hang out with me it feels like is due to some obligation and theyd rather be anywhere doing anything else, and bun not blame people

and im sorry for being such a downer and emotional drain and just a burden in general, that im aleays needing help but not being able to give any in return

sorry for causing problems amd worrying people and always needing so much reassurance

im going to try to get some sleep, if my brain allows.

and no if youre reading this you dont need to worry about me or about me hurting myself or anything like that, as much as my brain may tell me to at times id never be able to actually do so, just on the off chance it might hurt someone else

(10/11)

so that id have somewhere to vent out into the void, and if someome jsut so happens to see it then they see it

hell it took 5 fucking years of dating my bf for me to be able to fucking cry in vc at all

im a pit of nothing but despair and theres nothing special or important about me

(9/11)

id just be wasting their time and energy when they could be using it to actually help people who need it

especially since i wouldnt be able to talk about anything to them since i really struggle oppening up to people i dont feel connected to

its why i made this account in the first place

(8/11)

i cant even make a fucking therapist appointment because im too scared that theyll just tell me that im just blowing things out of proportion and that im just wasting their time and that they have people with real problems who actually need help, and they do

(7/11)

best i can do is just sit there and offer snugs and hugs, which i cant even give them because im too far away

i cant even fix myself because every time i try i just get demoralized because i can never just fucking stick to it

(6/11)

whenever someone tries talking to me my mind just blanks out, the only time its quiet is when someone is trying to talk to me and then suddenly it shuts down and leaves me stranded there with nothing to say

i cant have serious conversations, i cant comfort anyone

(5/11)

people tell me that im cute and funny and adorable and the like, but i just dont see that, at all

im not even static, that would be more interesting than the nothingness devoid of any soul that i am

i cant talk, i cant flirt, im not good at anything

(4/11)

hells i know more about destiny 2 raids and their lore than i do about myself...

and im realising that i dont think i even have a personality

like i know my name, that im a trans bun/fox/owlgirl, and that im bi and poly

thats it, thats all i know about myself

i dont know who i am

(3/11)

just "was bullied and betrayed a lot growing up, had an abusive father, sick mother and brother she doesnt/didnt get along with."

and thatd be all, because thats really all thats happened in my life, and most of it i only just barely remember anymore

(2/11)