Chris Jones

I once had to buy a permanent marker at short notice and was appalled at the price they were charging

Although US+ European futures show only a small decline

I hope the bombs stop falling on Dubai. I can't stand the thought of all those ghastly people coming back to the UK

Just noticed "Board of Peace" can be spelled "Bored of Peace". Hahahaha! You can use that for free. Expecting loads of likes for this one.

Me neither

Wait. This isn't what Daniel Hannan told me would happen.

I only randomly found out about this last year when my dual citizen son forgot to renew his UK passport in time and I checked whether he could enter on his other passport. This was before the deadline and he was ok

Apparently he was identified from his clothing - a cap and chinos

Mountaineering? There's actual steps. Probably a glühwein kiosk half way up too.

He seems a bit annoyed. Apparently what SCOTUS did is terrible, but in fact it's absolutely fine because now it's clear that he can impose even more tariffs through other authorities but it will take longer except the new ones are effective immediately and will raise even more money than before.

Police called for reinforcements on their walkies-talkies

I assume newspaper picture editors have filing structures like:

...
UKpolitics/rachelreeves/happy/
UKpolitics/rachelreeves/sad/
...

You and my army of bots

Cats love sinks right up to the moment you turn the tap on

I'm always jealous when I hear about "forces loyal to" someone. How do I amass forces loyal to me?

New monarchs should just be able to pick any unused regnal number, like footballers with shirts. I'd be Chris XVII

Johnson vehemently denies leaving the door open, claims that the idea that people inside are getting cold is just "gloomerist balderdash" and then goes back in to try to snog the waitress

Truss spends five minutes unsuccessfully pushing on the door, which has a handle clearly marked 'PULL'

If you're posting the Andrew stuff with "BREAKING" at 11am, I can't help you

I suspect former Prince Andrew may be downsizing again

At this point I think we need to ask questions about how Prince Andrew originally got the job

When the police showed up at his door, he assumed they were some kind of birthday stripagram

What an interesting offence to be charged with

The heights didn't wuther enough for me

I just can't forgive the Lancaster House speech

Followed by Theresa May, who was just as disastrous. (And then Johnson and Truss...)

Making a mental note of this for the next time I find a lost wallet

Does Crouch End count?

As long as you see the Alcázar, one of the most beautiful places in Europe