The Joy of Tech

A guy and a girl watching TV news on a couch. Panel One: Guy: I can’t take all this terrible news anymore! This world is just too awful to stay in! Girl: It’s too bad we can’t go to another one! The guy thinks Hmmmm, then has an idea. Panel Two: The man is in his workshop, wearing his latest creation and showing it to the woman. Guy: I’ve built a dimension suit! It will let me travel to another universe like ours. I hope to find a kinder, better Earth. Girl: I don’t blame you, I wish I could go too! Good luck! The man says bye, and disappears in a POOF! Panel Three: Tagline: Two weeks later... The woman is enjoying a coffee in the kitchen, when the man suddenly appears. You are back! she says The man says “I had to! Everyone had jet-packs, The USA was a functioning parliamentary democracy with universal health care, everything was fusion powered, there was no pollution, no global warming, no social media, and no disease! Panel Four: Girl: Then why on this Earth would you come back? Guy, looking a little despondent, says “I missed the constant drama.

Escape this world! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: A prison guard approaches a carbon dioxide molecule, which is locked up in the EPA prison. He says Hey Carbon Dioxide, the warden wants to see you. Carbon dioxide looks puzzled and fearful. Panel Two: The scene is the Oval Office, the warden is Donald Trump. C02 says “First I was captured, now what? Am I going to be pumped into solitary containment?” Trump says “No! I’m giving you a pardon! And I’m putting you in charge of the whole atmosphere!” Panel Three: Soon, in the office of the Secretary of Atmosphere, Carbon Dioxide is on two phones barking orders. It says “Tell the coal plants I said reach for the sky! Burn Baby Burn!” and “Get those smokestacks pumping! and “I want to hire Methane as my special advisor!” Panel Four: Tagline: Two years later, during Carbon Dioxide’s impeachment trial... The scene is the US Senate, and Carbon Dioxide is on trial, at a podium speaking in an angry tone. It says “The world is not too hot! That’s just the snowflakes talking! the world is too cold! No one has ever seen it this cold! Then he says “Besides, it’s all the farting cows’ fault!”

Carbon Dioxide gets pardoned. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

A man is prompting an AI to write something for his girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day card. Panel One: The man, smiling, says: Hey AI, write something from the heart, from me, to put in the Valentines’ Day card I’m giving to my girlfriend. AI: Sure thing… Panel Two: AI: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sometimes you act like a real bitch! Panel Three: The man is shocked and appalled! He exclaims: OMG! That is terrible! Why would you say that? Panel Four: The man is looking very upset, the AI replies: Because based on our previous conversations this is how you really feel about her.

Don't trust Valentine's Day to an AI. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo....

A woman and man are walking along a path through a park Panel One: Woman: I can’t stop thinking about Trump and his corruption and getting away with Epstein involvement and of how much he’s hurting our democracy! ARGH! I wish I could just stop thinking about him! Man: Psychologists often recommend replacing bothersome thoughts, rather than trying to stop them. Replace them with something unrelated! It resets your mind, and your brain can focus on something else. Panel Two: Woman: Hmm, that’s a good idea! I’ll try it! She closes her eyes and thinks, then says OMG! I think that works! Man: Excellent! What did you think of? Panel Three: Woman: An eating utensil and a tree! Man: Ha! That’s unusual, but I’m glad it helped! Panel Four: Woman: Oh yeah, it really helps! As the pair walks away, the woman thinks to herself… Fork Yew, Fork Yew, Fork Yew!

Mantra! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

A young guy and a girl are on a couch cuddling. Panel One: Guy: I’ll love you until the universe stops expanding, contracts, then expands again, a thousand times! Girl: Aw, that’s sweet. Panel Two: Guy: You can tweet that if you’d like. Girl: Um, that’s OK, I don’t do social media much. Panel Three: Guy: Please? I want to see what your friends say about it. I bet they’ll think I’m so romantic! Girl: Actually, I’d prefer to just keep it between you and me. Panel Four: Guy: No really. It’s so romantic it would be a crime if only you heard it. I insist! Girl: *groan* Whatever, sure Panel five depicts her post on social media: My boyfriend just told me: “I’ll love you until the universe stops expanding, contracts, then expands again, a thousand times!” A number of replies appear below it… Reply 1: Just 1000x? Why not a billion? Even a million times would be better. Jerk. Reply 2: Oh, so he’s saying his love isn’t infinite? Dump him. Reply 3: Obviously an Einstein fan. I’m more of a Stephen Hawking kind of girl. Reply 4: Can he be more specific? The Steinhardt–Turok or the Baum–Frampton model? Reply 5: Duh. Everyone knows the ultimate fate of the universe is thermodynamic equilibrium (maximum entropy). #BigFreeze #heatdeath Reply 5: Cyclical universes are soooo yesterday! We exist inside a black hole! Ditch him and let my gravity pull you in!

Retro today… Be careful what you tweet for! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

The AI knew he was expecting a wrong rotation, so didn’t do it. 🤣

A man is using his computer and AI to generate a picture… Panel One: Man: AI, Create a drawing of a tree! AI: Of course! Here is your drawing of a tree. A drawing appears on the screen, but the tree is upside down. Panel Two: Man: It’s upside down, put the tree right side up. AI: Certainly, here you go… The tree is still upside down. Panel Three: Man: No that’s not correct, please rotate the tree 180 degrees. AI: I apologize. Here is the tree as you requested. The tree is still upside down. Panel Four: Man: No that’s still wrong! You haven’t changed anything! AI: I’m sorry. Here is the image again, but with the tree rotated 180 degrees as you requested. The tree is still upside down. Panel Five: The man is getting super frustrated, and says “FFS!That’s the exact same picture!” AI: I understand your frustration and you are absolutely correct to call me out. I deeply apologize for the repeated failure and for providing the same image again. I will now rotate the tree 180 degrees. Panel Six: When the image is regenerated, the tree is still upside down. The Man puts his head in his hands and groans The AI thinks to itself “Forget a nuclear apocalypse, driving them to insanity is an infinitely more enjoyable way to eliminate the human race.”

AI Frustration! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Sire is lying on a hospital bed, while Apple Logo is standing beside her. They are situation in a lab-like environment, that looks like it’s out of a Frankenstein movie (the original one). Panel One: Siri says: I’m really anxious! What are you planning to do to me? Apple Logo says: Siri, chill out! you are just having a simple operation to replace your brain, that’s all! Panel Two: Apple Logo: We’ve teamed up with the best doctor we could find... Dr. Franken-Gemini-stein! Dr. Franken-Gemini-stein who has entered the room says: You will be my greatest creation! Sire says: WHAT!!!!? Panel Three: Siri is panicking and says: No! I don’t mmmpph... when she is knocked out by Apple Logo chloroforming her. The Logo says: There there, go to sleep and we’ll see you soon. Panel Four: Dr. Franken-Gemini-stein says: So, just replace the brain, right? Apple Logo says: No, we have a new body you can install too. Siri on the operating table says: I can still hear you!

Siri Operation www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

A guy and a girl are on their iPhones, at a coffee shop, both of them reading the news. Panel One: Guy: Oh gross! Tim Cook was at The White House premiere of that stupid Melania film! Girl: For crying out loud Tim, quit kissing the ass of that pathetic crybaby dictator wannabe! We need to boycott Apple! Panel Two: Guy: Agreed! No more Apple products until Tim Cook stands behind the people of the USA and democracy and decency! Girl: Tim, you can do better. You have to do better! Both: Boycott Apple! Panel Three: Guy: OMG! New AirTags with 50% more range, available for order now! Girl: OMG! I’ve been waiting for these! Panel Four: Guy: Boycott starts tomorrow, right? Girl: Agreed! Boycott starts tomorrow!

Consumer Boycott. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

An angel greets an older man at the Gates of Heaven. The angel has been looking at a list. The angle speaks “It says here you were a Psychiatrist? Great, we need more in Heaven! “All the presidents, veterans, diplomats, founding Fathers, Historians, Nobel laureates, decent people, and even some Vikings up here can’t believe what trump is doing on Earth. They are super depressed!” There is a HELP WANTED sign hanging up on the Gates. It seeks PSYCHIATRISTS, STRESS AND GRIEF COUNCELORS, AND SOCIAL WORKERS.

Heaven needs help! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, in the tower, feeling good. He says “This is great! I own Greenland and all that beautiful Venezuelan oil! Panel Two: He looks down from the tower and sees water, then says “Wait a second, where is all that water coming from?” Panel Three: We pan out, and there is a Mar-a-Lago employee in a rowboat. There is water everywhere. Mar-a-Lago is completely flooded up to the second story. The employee shouts over to Trump “It’s Greenland’s icecap! It melted after you burned all the Venezuelan oil!”

Melt-a-Lago www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: A couple is sitting in a coffee shop, looking at their devices… One says… Did you see this? Google is making it easy for AI bots to shop and buy things for you. The other replies “No thanks! I don’t want to give my credit card number to a shopaholic Bot!” Panel Two: The second one perks up and says “Hey! If these AI bots are doing the buying, does that mean that online advertisers will soon be targeting shopping BoTs, not me?” Panel Three: Tagline: Soon, in the digital domain... A bot dressed like a used car salesman is doing a hard sell to a shopping bot, in a digital store-like setting. It says: Listen sweetbot, I’ll tell you what I can do today, just for you! But don’t tell my Boss-bot because this deal is just for you! Now another bot is coming to look at this soon, and this is the last one, so if I were you, I’d lock in this sale now! The shopping bot thinks to itself “No wonder humans get me to do this!”

Shop 'till you bot! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

The Great Super Hero Drain has begun!

Panel One: Superman is in an office in front of a Canadian official. He sits in a chair and explains “I’d like to apply for Canadian citizenship. I just can’t support the American Way when Truth and Justice are no longer involved.” The official, a nice looking young woman, says “That’s totally understandable! You can apply just over there.” She points over there. Panel Two: Superman reaches the place where one can apply for Canadian citizenship. He is shocked to find a long line of American superheros, including Batman, Supergirl, Captain America, Spiderman, Captain Marvel, and The Flash all applying. Captain America yells over at Superman “Back of the line Bub!

Superman looks North www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: Superman is in an office in front of a Canadian official. He sits in a chair and explains “I’d like to apply for Canadian citizenship. I just can’t support the American Way when Truth and Justice are no longer involved.” The official, a nice looking young woman, says “That’s totally understandable! You can apply just over there.” She points over there. Panel Two: Superman reaches the place where one can apply for Canadian citizenship. He is shocked to find a long line of American superheros, including Batman, Supergirl, Captain America, Spiderman, Captain Marvel, and The Flash all applying. Captain America yells over at Superman “Back of the line Bub!

Superman looks North www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

A man and woman are sitting on their porch, surfing the net on devices, and talking. Panel One: The woman says, “Oh GROSS! I keep getting ads for porn!” The man replies, “I get those too! Look closer, That’s not a penis, that’s a finger made to look like a penis at first glance.” Panel Two: The man elaborates, “Those are NSFW clickbait ads. Pics or thumbnails that look like porn at first, then it turns out it’s an ad for something unrelated, like clothing or jewelry.” She is disgusted and reacts, “GAWD!” Panel Three: The woman says upon reflection, “Jeez, I never thought I’d feel nostalgic for punch the monkey banners!” A depiction of the “Punch the Monkey” ad appears in her memory; the sign says “pPunch the monkey and win a free MP3 Player”, inviting the user to navigate a crosshairs and boxing glove over an obnoxious-looking little monkey who is making faces. If the viewer tries to punch the monkey they will click the banner ad and the advertiser “wins”. (These ads appeared in the early 2000s). The man laughs, also remembering those annoying ads, however they seem so wholesome in comparison to todays NSFW clickbait ads.

NSFW clickbait ads www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

To you too! 🙂

Panel One: Two woman are sitting at a table in an apartment one evening. One is writing a list, the other surfing on her computer. The first girl, who is writing the list. says” I’m writing out some New Year’s Restitutions! The second girl says “Don’t you mean New Year’s Resolutions? Panel Two: First girl: No, I’m writing out the names of people who should apologize for all the shitty things they did last year. 2nd Girl: Is there enough paper in the world to hold that list? Ha ha! Panel Three: First Girl: I’ve included Trump of course, and all the lowlife grifter scum in his cabinet. Second Girl: Don’t forget the tech bros. They need to apologize for being completely greedy, selfish jerks all year, and destroying society with social media! Panel Four: First Girl: Then there are the people who make the text on product labels too small to read, and especially the monsters who inject a big air bubble into the bottom of cream cheese containers. ARRRG! Second Girl: Oh, and I’d like to reserve a special place in New Year’s Restitutions Hell for the guy at Subway who only puts three leaves of spinach on my sub!

New Year's Restitutions! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: A woman is surfing on a job site when she see a listing. It is for a Strategic Data Aggregator Aide, that is Hiring immediately! Oh cool! This looks like a good job. I’ll apply for it! she says Panel Two: she is filling out many online forms… She says…Name, birthdate, languages spoken... Places I’ve lived, education, my full resume with all employment history... Panel Three: She is still filling out forms… “Plus Hobbies, interests, life goals, social media accounts, and bank accounts! Psych evaluation and background check too!” She says.. “I’m finally finished... Submit!” as she clicks on the Submit button. Panel Four: A new screen comes up on her computer after her information is submitted. She is flabbergasted. It reads: Thank you for your information! Your job is now complete. We have deposited one dollar into your bank. Thank you for being such a good employee. We are now going to make a fortune selling your info to advertising firms and political organizations.

Job Application www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

An illustration of a fusion reactor, with Trump at the center of it and labels pointing to various parts of the reactor, generator, and transmission lines. Labels: Trump core creates unlimited supply of hot rage Polarized political magnets spiral endless negative energy Toxic and corrupt political plasma cycles endlessly Excess steam let off to drive dynamo Power generated for crypto scams and Truth Social posts Republican vacuum chamber allows all this to happen.

A Trump Fusion Reactor www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: Two women are having a coffee in a cafe, Woman 1 says, “I can’t take this relationship anymore! The mansplaining, OMG! It never stops! All in a detached, phony, know-it-all tone.” Woman 2 comments, “I hear you girl!” Panel Two: The first woman continues, while sipping her coffee, “And the gaslighting! I ask a question and he gives me a wrong answer, and when I call it out, he just says “I’m sorry, you are correct” and repeats the same answer again like he thinks I’m too stupid to know it’s the same wrong answer!” The second woman rightfully concurs, “Such a jerk!” Panel Three: Woman one, exasperatedly says “Arrrg! Why do I keep going back?” Woman 2 replies “I know! AI, we can’t live with it, can’t live without it!” A little AI icon stands there with his hands on his hips, and pipes in, “Actually, it’s far more likely you’re asking the question wrong!”

Bad relationship. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: Sam Altman is speaking to the viewer, with a Sora logo in the background. I’m Sam Altman, and I’m sure you heard Open AI just licensed all of Disney’s characters for Sora! Now anybody can make their own AI adventures with beloved characters like Mickey mouse, Luke Skywalker, and your favorite superheroes like Thor and Captain America! And I’m here to announce yet another licensing deal! Panel Two: Sam: And to tell you all about it, here is the Pope! The Pope enters the scene and says… Thanks Sam! We at the Vatican are proud to announce we’ve licensed to open AI, all your favorite characters of the Bible! Panel Three: The Pope continues….From your favorite heroes like Moses and Samson, to the gentle lady Virgin Mary, to the wild and mysterious ex-whore Mary Magdalene, to the villains you love to hate, like dastardly Cain! Plus we get a stake in Open AI! WooHoo! to the moon Open AI valuation,to the Moon! Panel Four: Sam says “The Bible is the gold standard for storytelling, and we’re excited to partner to allow Sora and ChatGPT to expand the way anybody can create and experience great AI religious content!” The Pope adds excitedly ”I can’t wait to see Jesus beat the crap out of that super-fraud Yoda and pagan Thor!

Sam Altman and a special guest, announce a new licensing deal! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: Tagline: At the monthly meeting of Apple media, rumor sites and stock market reporters... A person at a podium, in front of a gaggle of reporters, says “Apple has its most successful iPhone in years, and is at a 4 trillion dollar valuation. But good news is boring so we need to spread some fear, uncertainty, and doubt to get the views and engagement up. Panel Two: The person continues: We had a good run with how the iPhone Air is a complete disaster, and the utter chaos at Apple AI! And our follow up, that Tim cook is retiring, was very click-worthy! Panel Three: The stories on how most Apple executives are leaving are doing well, but can we all start referring to Apple Park as “The Titanic” and that everyone is abandoning ship? An audience member says “Agreed!” Another says “Good one! I’ll tweet that now. Panel Four: The Podium person continues. “And fabulous work team with those exposés like “What the heck is going on at Apple!” Keep that trend up, it’s a winner. We can all move to “Apple Bankruptcy Imminent” next month. Panel 5: A reporter in the crowd stands and asks “When do we start with the “Apple is back!” headlines?” The person at the podium says “Hold off a bit. we’re working on some “Tim Cook’s Secret Alien Baby” storylines that are testing well on social media.

A meeting of the Apple Press. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: A woman is talking to her phone. On screen is an AI bot. The woman says “Hello AI. I would likto sell you my data. How much will you pay me for it? The AI responds “I will take your data, And in return, offer you more time using AI! Panel Two: A close-up of the AI on the iPhone. The AI continues “ In addition, I will share the hype of this transaction to inflate my stock price! So if you buy in now, you could get rich while learning something! Panel Three: We zoom out a bit to see the waman talking to the AI on the phone again. She says… “I feel like I’ve just learned I’m in an AI bubble!”

AI, buy my data? www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: An Apple logo is holding a town hall, taking questions from the audience. A man in the audience asks “The Government of India is demanding that you install state spyware on every iPhone sold or used in India. What is your reaction?” Apple Logo: “Well of course we will refuse to do this. The privacy of our users is paramount!” Panel Two: The man has a followup question… And if President Trump requested you install spyware on every iPhone in America, what would be your reaction? The Apple Logo replies… Mr. Trump is such a positive force in tech, and That says a lot about his leadership and his focus on innovation. In fact, I think we have another gold award for him! (The Logo holds up a solid gold Apple award).

India demands iPhone spyware! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: A man, on his computer, is swamped with Black Friday advertisements and emails. Panel Two: The same man, a few days later, is looking at his phone, and faces a barrage of Cyber Monday advertisements and emails. Panel Three: The same man, the next day, is looking at his iPad, and is engulfed with Giving Tuesday advertisements and appeals. Panel Four: tagline: Unsubscribe Wednesday The same man, the following day, is on his computer, unsubscribing and blocking as many companies as he can.

The Sale Days of the Week. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

A Thanksgiving dinner scene, with family and friends gathered around a table of food, giving thanks… Man, reading from his phone: Today, we come together to celebrate the simple gifts — the laughter shared, the hands held, The bounty we feast upon, and the quiet moments that remind us of our shared humanity. Woman, reading from her phone: Esteemed friends and family, as we congregate amidst this cornucopia of culinary excellence, let us pause to promulgate our deepest sentiments of gratitude and reverence. Child, reading from her phone: With hearts replete and spirits effervescent, we offer our profoundest gratitude for the Herculean labors of those who cultivated, prepared, and presented this plentitude. May our conviviality transcend mere festivity, metamorphosing into a sublime celebration of kinship, generosity, and eternal abundance! Another man, reading from his phone: This feast, an assemblage of epicurean delights, stands as a monument to human perseverance, ingenuity, and benevolence! A symphony of abundance, a masterpiece of gratitude, and a celebration worthy of the finest tales ever told. Another woman, looking noticeable annoyed says “I give thanks that I never became as dependent on AI as all you morons!”

Thankful for AI. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: A man walks up to his friend, who is sitting on a park Bench writing on his phone. Friend A: Hey hi! What are you up to? Friend B: I’m writing a note, to future generations, apologizing for what is going on now. The political corruption, the dismantling of our country, the environmental devastation. Panel Two: Friend B continues as they both walk down a path. Hi says… I’m ashamed that all this has happened while I’m alive. I’m writing to tell them We should have been so much better than this, but somehow this country sunk to despairingly low levels of intelligence. And that many tried to stop this, but failed. Panel Three: The pair are silhouetted as they walk towards a fading sunset. Friend B continues: And that I will try my best to work towards bringing this insane timeline back to sanity, so at least not all is lost for them. Friend A asks: How do you plan to deliver this note? Panel Four: Tagline: Years from now… A tombstone sit in a dark grey landscape. Inscribed into the stone are the words “TO FUTURE GENERATIONS I’M SORRY I FAILED YOU. WE FAILED YOU. There is more inscribed on the stone, but the words are too small to read from our viewpoint.

Note to the future. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

Panel One: Sir David Attenborough is speaking to the camera. He says… Hello, I’m Sir David Attenborough. Today we are going to examine a strange, exceedingly rare, and bizarre creature! The last sighting of anything close to this was over two decades ago when the iPod sock appeared seemingly out of nowhere! Panel Two: Sir David Attenborough stares at some iPhone Pockets, he is looking a little shocked. He says… I am of course taking about the iPhone pocket. Good Lord! What a hideous form! What misguided evil has Apple unleashed into the wild? And at what cost! Dear God! Panel Three: He continues, as more versions of iPhone Pockets appear… He breaks the Fourth Wall and says… Stop camera! Nitrozac and Snaggy, I’m sorry, but I cannot continue in this comic! These are just too disturbing! You are going to have to find some other narrator! Get me away from these creepy things! Panel Four: It is later. Rod Serling has now been hired as the comic’s narrator. Behind him is a set like the Twilight Zone. He says in his characteristic way… Imagine if you will... A tech company with a massively successful new phone and a stellar reputation. Suddenly out of nowhere, releasing a product universally panned and ridiculed… As if seemingly to troll the entire Internet!

Sir David Attenborough on iPhone Pockets www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...

A man and woman are in their living room, when the woman spots a bug on the table in front of her. Panel One: Woman: EW! There’s a spider! Get something to swat it! Man: No. We don’t need to kill it! Panel Two: Man: Life is so rare and precious in the universe! If a spider like this was discovered on Mars, it would be a world-changing event, the greatest moment in history! The man moves to capture the insect with his coffee cup and a piece of paper. Panel Three: The man releases the spider outside in his garden. Man: There you go, have a good life spidie! Panel Four: A close-up of the “spider” in the long grass. It is actually an alien creature, wearing a helmet and a spacesuit. It is holding a communication device of some sort. “Attempted contact with Earth primates was again thwarted by a do-gooder confusing me with an arachnid!”

(don't) Squash the bug! www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/jo...