Brynne Beams

I pay extra for Prime without ads for a reason. For some fucking reason, there are still movies with ads. This is horseshit and I’m gonna flip out. Is Jeffrey so rich he can fly to space, but still too broke to have movies without ads?

For all my fellow #trans women looking for a positive spa experience in Arkansas, I highly recommend the baths at The Arlington in Hot Springs. I got “The Works” package for $115 and have never felt more relaxed afterwards. Susan & Chris got me feeling 25 again.

Just got one of my wisdom teeth pulled. Face is numb, but I got to keep the tooth. Now if only the doctor who performs my orchi is as cool as my dentist.

I couldn't agree more.

Am I high or does The Rock look like a hotdog in a winter coat? #redone #highthoughts

Am I high or does The Rock look like a hotdog in a winter coat? #redone #highthoughts

I know I’m a day late for #tiddytuesday , but have some feelin’ cheeky #yallternative trans girl tiddies.

This time last year I tripped delivering a mattress and fractured a vertebrae. Today, I have one stop that has 3 mattresses for delivery. Y’all wish me luck. 😅

Doubling up on Thanksgiving. Lunch with a friend’s family and dinner with my family. Currently in a house with some bomb ass Mexicans playing video games and getting mad tea about the tio who fell for a catfish. I feel like my family can’t compete.

“I think it needs to be tied tighter.”

Going through the process of legally changing my name before January and called the County Clerk’s office to find out the filing fee. When I tell you my butthole puckered when she said it was $165… Miss ma’am, in this economy? During the holiday season? Anyone want feet pics?

I remember for my birthday one year, my mother made this fatal mistake. Nothing says “happy childhood memories” quite like Liquid Smoke Ice Cream.

Things I’ve talked about to people on my mail route: the weather, movies, music, local events, and (as of 10 o’clock this morning) pocket pussies. 🤔

After four and a half years of #sobriety, I can safely say that in no time during that period have I wanted a drink more than I have over the last month. Something about society’s descent into madness makes you want to polish off a handle of rot-gut whiskey and black out in a McDonald’s PlayPlace.

You know I’ve been on here for over a year, right? I just don’t post a whole lot.

This message is to all transgender congressional staffers: Nancy Mace’s desk looks an awful lot like a gender neutral bathroom.

I feel like that exposes more kids to the existence of trans people and would make them realize how cruel and unjust America really is. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for those extremely uncomfortable conversations. 3/3

So what happens when transgender people go into the restrooms of the genders they were assigned at birth and one of these angry people walk in with their child only to see a trans woman in a dress in the men’s room or a bearded trans man in the women’s room? 2/3

Some thoughts on #transgender bathroom policy:

1. The people bitching about “biological men” in women’s spaces have clearly never met a trans man.

2. They all bitch about their kids being exposed to “transgender ideology”.

3. They also bitch about kids being indoctrinated into hating America. 1/3

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but have an edible with your pasta and get weird. You deserve it. 💜

Don’t get me wrong, I love living in the South. The music, the food, the cultural diversity; all top tier. But I’m seriously considering bouncing out and moving somewhere more hospitable.

Proud of you! 💜

So I’m a mail carrier with the USPS in Arkansas. Twice this week, one of the residents on my route has tried to get me to come to his evangelical church. I thought telling him I’m a pagan would be the end of it, so then I told him I’m queer and he said, “It’s not too late. God loves you.” The fuck?!

Trippy Glasses GIF ALT: Trippy Glasses GIF

I ain’t posted here in a hot minute. Lemme get stoney bologna and see where the night takes me.

Had a hotel hookup with one of my frat bros last night. These pics were clearly the before, but the after photos will remain a closely guarded secret. 🌶️

A night in with good company & a good book. It’s nice to have some time to just relax.

Happy Mardi Gras! Yankee Candle needs to make a scent for the holiday. It would smell like piss, stale beer, & vomit, but you’d be transported right to the French Quarter. Public nudity not included. Laissez les bons temps rouler! ⚜️💜💚💛

Took a quick pic this morning getting ready for work. My body’s not where I want it to be just yet, but I am loving the progress and appreciate every curve.

Rewatching True Blood has shown me just why I have a thing for older guys who are super strong and refer to me as, “mine.” 😅🫠

As your conservative mother, I am disappointed in your career path. Why couldn’t you be a realtor like Judy’s son?