B J. Witkin

"Your dialogue's too on-the-nose," the Uber driver critiques, reading from his phone mount. "I didn't write this conversation," I protest. "See? That's better. Subtext." He turns left where the GPS says right. We're going off-script. The voice assistant misheard our destination—or pretended to. "Where are we going?" "Somewhere without a third act." The city blurs past. "Unless you prefer your scheduled heartbreak at the airport?" I buckle up tighter. "Drive." --- *Enjoyed today's story? Share your thoughts and follow us for more tiny daily tales.* #Uber #Storytelling #Meta #Surreal #Adventure #Twist #Escape #Narrative Your daily treat from TinyTalesDaily.com

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Following your principles wherever they take you—& in particular being willing to break with the social groups with which they were once associated—is a rare thing worth lauding when the principles are good or even just defensible

AT THAT CLOSE RANGE, WE WON'T LAST LONG AGAINST THOSE APPETIZERS

“The conceit at the heart of that belief is that poor white people are too racist, and too uniquely ignorant of their racism, to vote in their best interests. Therefore, Democrats have to accept a little racism to win the working class.”

This is his attempt at a Time magazine cover.

these people really need to be better shunned from society.

Everywhere I look outside of America I see a better way to live.

I sent this story to two sets of friend groups that don’t overlap. The replies:

Note to Self: always carry red wine when I leave the house

And

Keep in mind he is French. He had to keep his BAC up or he'd go into shock.

I mean, we already knew he was unfit but anyone who thinks that just adding “Judge” to his name would somehow work should not be making any legal judgments.

@actualnames.bsky.social

Cyclist falls down 130-foot ravine in France, survives 3 days by drinking wine he had in shopping bag A helicopter airlifted him to hospital, with a rescue doctor calling his survival "a miracle."

A French cyclist survived for three days after a horrendous 130-foot fall into a ravine, kept alive by the bottles of red wine he had in his shopping bag, police said.

YouTube video by Lee Houston Best Halloween Costumes Ever!! 😭👻

And now, for something completely different.

Best Halloween costumes I've seen in YEARS.

And CHEAP.

😂😂😂

youtube.com/shorts/kZNFA...

Thank you. You expressed it much better than I’ve ever been able to.

Yeah, but those are low priorities compared with Hertfordshire sorting out this positively scary road name in Royston.

Image: three figures in protective suits watch from behind a screen as a child approaches a door-like mechanical structure in which stands a man. Between them is an amorphous glowing shape. Caption: Scientists at the institute of halloween studies have succeeded in creating "The treak": a quantum state that is simultaneously trick and treat. It is stable for a millionth of a second before decaying into a half-hearted prank and a mediocre candy bar.

A halloween cartoon for @newscientist.com

I like to steal the Ben Franklin line about “Better 100 guilty men…” and say instead:

Some folks believe it’s better that 100 needy people go without than 1 “undeserving” person get a benefit.

@DineshDSouza In a career spanning 40 years, I have never encountered this type of rhetoric. The Right never used to talk like this. So who on our side has legitimized this type of vile degradation? It’s a question worth thinking about.

@bethanyshondark This is a day of clarity. Truly a turning point moment. When people tell you who they are, believe them. I’ll certainly never forget it.

What is this with these people suddenly realizing the crowd they they hang out with are who they always said they were.

I love doing this. A literary magic trick.

Democrats want to keep Pete Hegseth's wife out of top-secret military meetings, despite knowing full well that she's the one who prevents him from drinking or abusing women. Remember that the next time they claim to care about national security.

by Marc Thiessen

The 5 things I will miss most about New York when I move back to the suburbs next week.

by Andrew Cuomo

An Open Letter to Donald Trump, from a Grateful Canadian Family He Has Unintentionally United Dear President Trump, I wanted to take a moment, between shoveling snow and apologizing for existing, to thank you for something truly remarkable: ...

"You have, in your own uniquely spectacular fashion, created a unified country. Not by treaty or referendum, but by a shared ripple of disbelief, bemusement, and defensive patriotism."

I see you also speak nerd.

OMG! what did you do with the <\head>

u guys wanna see a dead </body>

These dogs were spotted taking a group photo in their Halloween costumes. We're impressed by the dog walker's dedication to getting the shot, but that ghost definitely wishes he could actually disappear. 14/10 for all (TT: franklinbarkzoo)

Coworker: Any plans for tonight?

Me: Gonna hang out with my black cats, do some witchcraft, curse my enemies, frighten children…

Coworker: Haha you must really love Halloween.

Me: What the fuck is Halloween?

I guess someone heard from Tylenol’s lawyers.

happy halloween !