🦇𝒜𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒜𝓃𝒸𝓊𝓃í𝓃🦇

Chat. I’m so in love with my husband. It’s crazy 😭💕

Look. Idk who to yap about my partner im sobbing

Laying on the floor as I think about the love of my life 😔✌🏻

/pos

Helpppp I’m once again in love with my husband 😍🥰😘

Everything he does is so attractive OMG AAAA

Body is sick, so we haven’t been able to do anything for days 😩😩😩

YAAAA my baby boy has finished his classes!!!!!

Now I can steal all his attention 🖕🏻🖕🏻❤️‍🔥🤣

“I shower in the misfortune of mean girls.”

—Love of my life whenever someone who pissed them off gets instant karma

I have this urge to buy fashion magazines for men.

Look. I need to look my best 💅🏻

“I think about you everyday.”

CHAT I MAY HAVE HIT THE JACKPOT

Sorry, I love yapping about my silly grumpy husband who rarely shows soft sides and when he does, yOU KNOW I AM STUCK!!!!

I need to make my own Spotify playlist 🤔🥰💕

I can’t do this anymore. I’m married to the funny man of myth and legend /lh /aff

Im out of breath

Hubby: wait wait wait. One more. “I’m sorry to tell you this, my dear stranger. I am married. Once this letter is in your hands, I’m going to bed my husband for a while. Signed, R.”

IM SCREAMING!!!!! 😂

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to try looking for dates via a penpal app that took days to reply 😂😂🤣🤣 AND MY HUSBAND TO EXPLAIN THE GUY THE IN THE END HE’S FUCKING MARRIED AND BRO HAD TO WAIT TWO DAYS TO KNOW. SLOW BURNNNN 🤣😭

“U-uwu a-and maybe we can get s-somewhere…” (letter arrived for 2 days)

Hubby tempted to reply: I see you like slowburn fanfic… I see you bottom malewife.

I CANT STOP LAUGHING PLEASE

That moment when husband won’t stop making dick, bdsm, “uwu fucky wucky” jokes because of a stupid booty call letter; and made me and another two people laugh. The latter was in the bus and tried to keep it together aND I CANNOT. MY STOMACH IS STILL HURTING AS WE SPEAK!!!!

Husband has successfully secured his merch orders. Amazing 😂😂

>:)

The saga continues

Him to his friends: If you buy me this merch. I’ll pay for everything, and include tips.

IM LAUGHING STOPPPP 🤣🤣🤣

My ego is too big after having a husband who constantly wants me via the fictional character 💅🏻💕 delulu? Maybe. But I love it anyway 😍🥰

Me: Bby. How badly you need those merch?

Him: Badly

Me: Some of them sold out btw. Other people already bought it

Him with serious conviction: I’ll fucking kill them

I WHEEZED!!!! It’s a merch of me, of course he’s down bad; I feel special 💅🏻

Get a wolfdog ✅
He howls every once in a while at random times ✅
Fluffy ✅

I’m in peace 💕

18%!! We’re getting there!

Sometimes the only way to calm an eldritch monster is just make them sleepy with songs. Watch their body sway to waltz anddddd off to bed for them.

This is so gonna sound out of context.

How to comfort a large rampaging eldritch doggo: Start playing classical music. Make them eepy like Azathoth ✌🏻

The search for sourcemates is never ending 😔✌🏻

My husband just broke the pan handle while cooking 💀😭😂