Grant Tanaka

it’s all we have left tbh

the fifa peace prize used to mean something

couple on tandem bike = 2 dui’s

Sometimes when I get sad I just think about horse actors, if I'm still sad: dog actors.

YouTube video by Half a Person Walk Like You (James acoustic cover)

from the archives: probably the longest James song I've covered (maybe), or very close to it; maybe this will be the year I finally revive the channel from the dead

if I knew how depressed I was going to be, I would have started much sooner

BILLY JOEL: I was lifting a heavy box and I forgot to bend my knees

DOCTOR: so you’re saying you threw out your back-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK

BJ: you oughta know by now that I hate you

Not a fan of audits. Not at all.

I seldom follow the lead. For only I know where I want to go.

Just crossed off the first item on my annual To Do list. It was the 2024 list, but still

imagine bsky letting you decide which accounts are RUDE

can't right now, drafting a taxonomy for my smut collection

van mural of me in a native headdress harvesting bull semen

If we lived on Mars January would only just be coming to an end today and all I’m saying is I know how that feels.

what if we’re supposed to be sacrificing billionaires to the volcanoes to obtain world peace and relieve famine
whaddya say gang

thanks to capitalism we have too many chandeliers to swing from and not enough gallows

a list of irritating oxymorons

1. work family

that is all

pentatonic means that if you scream all your pent up rage into a pillow five times within one sitting it will turn into a tonic i completely understand if you need to mute me now

Fridays are great unless you wake up late and just lay there in bed doing nothing for ten minutes because you think it's Saturday.

Running from a monster in my dreams last night.

Coincidentally, Dad called yesterday, and I didn't feel like answering.

windshield wipers on the inside of your car for when you sneeze while driving WHEN

You can do anything you set your mind to, you stupid motherfucker.

Fact: sperm whales call humans “jizz monkeys”

“I’m so sorry baby. You shouldn’t have to go through this” me to my dog when he gets the hiccups

Like fluffy huskies chilling on a trampoline in the gently falling snow, you're strangely perfect.

i'm not sure if i've ever been right back when i said brb but no one really knows if that's when the aliens abduct me

Did that lobotomy make you smarter?

If you listen very closely you can hear the groceries telling your kids college fund to go fuck itself

THANK YOU

SIC SEMPER BLUESKY