Avon Caulin

a man wearing glasses and a green and white shirt looks at the camera ALT: a man wearing glasses and a green and white shirt looks at the camera

Hmmmmmm

a man in a plaid shirt says " i do have some questions for you " ALT: a man in a plaid shirt says " i do have some questions for you "

Why does that look like a newspaper clipping and what were you doing to get yourself into the news in the first place? Eh?

Grainy/blurry photo of a headline: Does art to you mean a ferret down your trousers?

Today’s historical anniversary begins with a question:

Georgia O'Keeffe, American (1887-1986), Hibiscus with Plumeria, 1939, oil on canvas, 101.6 x 76.2 cm, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Washington, DC, USA

This is funny and . . . also makes my skin crawl.

An rpi4 did that to me a while ago, was fine then died doing an OS upgrade, just draws a few amps & starts smelling a bit burney without any other sign of life now. I've put it in the tech mortuary pending smashing it with a hammer.

*hail obvs, though 'haul Mary' sounds like a better supplication

Ah, thought it was a new one you were installing. Sounds like it's knackered then. (Haul Mary, please let it be a poly fuse that heals quickly & let's it start working as if by magic) (Then immediately fail bcos initial fault not rectified)

Any lights coming on at all? Any point in checking voltage with a multimeter, or looking for jumpers or dip switches that need changing? Dangling wires etc? I'm sure you've already thought of all that but I do so like to interfere.

🏺 Top tip for British Museum visitors: go across the court, up rotunda stairs, cross bridge into upper floor, head past crowds aiming for Egypt and Mesopotamia, and go straight to Rooms 50 and 51 where the most stunning array of glories from later prehistory await you!

My mom drunk falls into the chair

My mom drunk falls into the chair https://www.wikiart.org/en/paul-klee/mumon-drunk-falls-into-the-chair-1940

Hats are oppressive, let your scalp breathe & the baldy patch thrive, geez.

For 99 years, my church, St Martin in the Fields, has been raising money through a BBC radio appeal to help the homeless at Christmas time. We help not just people in London, but all over the UK. Dig deep, folks.

smitfc.org/christmas/

Great but the fix ain't in, going round for another pass, the 'Agadoo' worms are powerful and mighty, the WPGR worms fear them (but press on regardless).

"So I guess we'll tell them you had nobody to go with!"
"Just drive, Dave."
"Sometimes you're just no fun, Tommy."
"You gotta stop calling me that, Dave. I'm a fucking saint."
"Not with a mouth like that you ain't, Tommy."

Playing at full vol rn, preparing worm cocoons as I listen 🤣😭

Ahhh, takes me back to a glorious summer spent packing greetings cards in a warehouse, with local radio blaring out to help us along. I know all the words... push pineapple shake the tree... To the left, to the right...

Thanks. Really, thanks a LOT. 😐

Swan Lake on the telly? Everything fine then.

Still looking for witnesses if you are near Swindon and able to share with friends and neighbours

💪👍🫡

Kevin Eldon's Speakers A monthly dose of magnificently produced twaddle and guff. Speakers - a podcast by Kevin Eldon and Martin Bird. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 1 is available now. If you've not heard it yet EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

And by that, we of course mean that you can find it here: podfollow.com/kevin-eldons...

Mark Rothko, Latvian-American, (1903-1970), Untitled, 1949, pigmented hide glue and oil on canvas, 204.15 x 168.6 x 5.08 cm, National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC, USA

(D singing: 🎶 the retuu-uurn of the pump green trunk
blowing farts in to air pies...🎶)

Indeed. I wish some presenters were a bit more on the ball when it comes to pointing out the double standards & distortions of facts these hard right bullshitters always use. Shouting at the radio here 🤬

But they're "centre-right" views so that's all fine then. 🙄.

with the matching itchy rug. Johnson, or Baldy Boris the Boiled Egg as he's now beeing dubbed, is said to be very pleased with the matted clump of plughole hair he's won, and Carrie's suing for divorce in a particularly revealing and salacious legal action, also to be serialised in the Express.

Well! A naughty cardinal invoking spells from a juvenile and malodorous Satanic floater... Okayyy

7: Photographic evidence has been published in the Express of Boris Johnson and Michael Fabricant swapping wigs in a Wesminister Syrup party where everyone throws their combs into a bowl & goes home