Natasha

The scissors arrived in the mail so it's time to cut and style the wigs for the event that is less than a week away. I really enjoyed dressing up last year and am going above and beyond this year. The year after that? I already have plans.

I spent the most I ever had for a purse. It goes towards my goal of being fashionable, so it's an allowed expense, and also a good motivator to work more. Worky worky.

I'm going to get a cake. Maybe bake it myself so it will be colors. Cover in whipped cream and sprinkles. And candles. And then..
Sit on it.

I had steak tonight too! I ate way too much. It's a rare treat.

I legitimately don't enjoy the holidays because all I can think of is family. 'You have a chosen family though!' No, I don't. I have friends, yes, but not a family. No brothers, no sister or parental figure. I'm gonna get high and game. That makes me happy.

Community is in an entirely different form than where it was twenty years ago. I stream and get to chat with screen names who pop into regularly. We check in on each other when sick, talk about loving in different countries. Parasocial relationships are real.

Holiday gifts in the form of weed and mushrooms. That said, I'm smoking up, drinking tea, and celebrating the shortest day of the year. Everything points to cleaning house and preparing for big changes. Eep!

Christmas cam-a-thon! Why not? That's what I want to do with my day. I'll even open Christmas presents on stream. Nothing crazy but at least a few hours. Stay high, play a game to completion.

I'm making so many cookies for events and friends. I'm trying to perfect a recipe. Each batch is better than the last.

The Steam holiday sale is upon us. I can write the game purchases off on my taxes because streaming is my job. But do I really need more games? The drive to consume is rising.

I'm playing on joystick.tv and having so much fun. Gaming but also entertaining and being social from the safety of my bedroom? I need groceries though..

If I wear the tail on stage as part of a gogo dancing outfit, I can write it off in taxes as a professional expense. Because a tail won't be part of my daily wardrobe. NOOOO. Also, fuck taxes. Fuck *all this*

Yes, I wear cat ears. Yes, I'm buying my first tail. Don't judge me! It's cute!

Sometimes a breakup is worth celebration not because I'm leaving a bad situation but because I'm moving into a better one. Not a bad guy, just not a good fit anymore.

Invest the money I make from gaming so I can make my own game?
The circle of life..

The cosplay I want doesn't exist so.. Fuck. Con is next month. Is it time to freak out?
Yes.

What? If I work at a relaxed pace, I get more done? That's a surprise to me.
Bunch of zines coming soon! Weed Read, and tasty candy-colored minizines to satisfy the munchies.

I promised someone I would mail a copy of the zine I wrote about my reviews of different Marijuana strains. Which means I need to finish it. Weed Read! Also going to drop it off at my local dispensary with my resume.

Found an Itty bitty bud. Eating a bagel and feeling better. I can't control how the day goes but I can do my best to keep my mood up. No retail therapy though.

Folding my little zines feels like a waste of time when it doesn't help pay my bills. How can I enjoy creating art when I should be spending my time job hunting?

I would pay someone to fill out all these job applications.
I like repeative tasks. Counting inventory at a dispensary would be perfect.
More coffee.

I have a 3d printer. The power of plastic is in my control. I'm making tiny bats.

I'm going to start a small business. I have no idea what I'm doing. Selling publications on Etsy. Paperwork? Taxes? Eeeeee

Girls don't like boys - girls like cats and money.

I figure out the best costume a week before Halloween. Dammit! Oh well, next year. I will acquire a pirate hat that fits my big head.

I feel like I have wandered off and forgot that I left my body laying in bed. I'm not even being productive, just depressed and lazy. It's okay, me, I'll stay right here while you go off and cry. This happens every October. Whee. Only not, because I contain no enthusiasm.

YouTube video by Matt Henegar Art Feeling Like Your Art Doesn’t Matter? Watch This.

Such a good video to remember that creativity has a place in this world.
youtu.be/XYWcmWjpCEk?...

Exhausted all yesterday and slept for five hours. Now I'm wide awake. Got therapy today. Tonight I must sew. Must. Sew. Time is ticking.

Picked up books at the thrift store while out with my bestie. You can tell the direction my interests has been traveling. I'm currently reading Dying for an IPhone. It's really good. I want to write a review of it for my fashion zine - coming January 2026!

I want candy pink fangs.