ParmaDaze

Ain't no rule says a dog can't play basketball

Uber Eats needs to add an “if you don’t have *this* I don’t want any of the other shit” option.
I need bread, I’m only adding the other superfluous stuff so I’m not wasting a whole order on just bread. When you message me and tell me you don’t have the bread I now no longer want the other stuff.

Nothing worse than a flaccid cone

That moment when you bite into the cone of a cornetto to discover it has gone soggy & soft 😖

Good thing she’s acute

Sooo as a society are we all just looking the other way on the room temperature hot dogs Baker’s Delight are selling in their savoury bites? Just so we’re on the same page.

Oh Carols By Candlelight you didn’t just use AI generated art did you? Gross.

Similar vibes

a man in a pink robe says good morning . ALT: a man in a pink robe says good morning .

Or even

Can we all agree that the cheaper the supermarket garlic bread stick, the better it tastes?

You underestimate my ability to fuck up pancakes

To be fair they would have gotten me with the 36 piece Tupperware set

“Please excuse my handwriting. I busted whichever hand it is I write with”

Everyone’s face looks like the guy when he sees himself on CCTV in The Ring

Concepts of a plan

Dropped in to Three Blue Ducks last night to see if anything has changed since our last visit (on Instagram).

It’s (mostly) better! The salad was seperate leaves rather than a wedge and there were heaps more chips. Parma was a little smaller though which hurts for $35. Still a good one overall 👍

And to my followers joining me from the Discord, I know I said something very similar to the above post in there today. Just consider Discord the “staging area” for my social media, the Isla Sorna to my Isla Nublar, if you will.

If you bail me up in the office in the morning while I’m holding a Guzman Y Gomez bag, please know that while I may appear to be smiling, engaging, and listening to everything you say, my brain is thinking “burrito, burrito, burrito, burrito, burrito”

Not that I’m holding a grudge or anything.

I once walked into the Gunn Island Brew Bar and asked if they served a parma, the guy literally laughed in my face and said “no, we aren’t *that* kind of pub”

Yeah well you went out of business years ago and the new pub in that location has a parma on the menu, so chug a bag of dicks.

If only he had’ve bought the cologne laced with pheromones sold out of dirty pub toilets he might have been in with a chance

Oh let’s not forget the even less pleasant sounding Creaming Soda