That Autist Rob?

I would feel bad for Kim Davis, but then I’m reminded that I don’t.

Anyway, pay your fuckin’ bills, Kim. And maybe the next time you want to preach to people about the “sanctity of marriage,” you should try not getting knocked up by your 3rd husband while married to your 1st/4th husband.

🏳️‍🌈

Why, oh why, would you feel the need to pardon 77 loyalists “in connection with the 2020 election” if no crimes or attempts to subvert a free and fair election were committed?

“When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own crows, then we shall have peace.”
-King Théoden of Rohan

We’re getting dangerously close in this country to the point where you’re going to have to make a choice between what is safe or comfortable, and what is right.

Nope.

Now kindly go fuck off.

Eat shit, Donald.

To quote a certain chocolatier, “…[Y]ou get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!”

Well shit.

I didn’t realize critical thinking was just saying “NUH-UH” and hoping it sticks.

That’s because you aren’t looking.

I do. And there is.

Now you shut up.

To quote the Third-Era Hobbitonian chronicler Bilbo Baggins, the President of the United States is acting like “some knob-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle.”

Okay, so John Fetterman is not a leftist.

Hell, there’s not a single true “leftist” politician in the US. “The left” in America is “Hey maybe people shouldn’t starve and maybe genocide is bad and perhaps voter restriction wasn’t the best idea.”

So many people calling for the guillotine seem to forget that 85% of the victims of the Terror were part of the Third Estate.

So let’s maybe not listen to The Robespierres and Marats, lest the Revolution once again devour her children.

NRA: We need guns to protect people who don’t have guns yet from people who do have guns by making sure that the good guys get guns because bad guys also have guns and the good guys use the good guns to stop the bad guys who use the bad guns and that’s why school shootings are actually a good thing.

Hey, MAGA Christians. I have a question for y’all:

What’s your favorite Bible verse(s)?

Personally, mine is Matthew 7:21-23. I find that these words give a nice insight into what Yeshua ben Yosef might think about these times, and that gives me comfort.

Also, this extends to both before and after next week.

Remember, kids…

Starting next week, if you see someone stealing food, the fuck you did.

Sincerely,
-Your good buddy Rob

About once per week, I think about that scene in the second Austin Powers movie where Dr. Evil learns that his front company’s legitimate business ventures make 9 times the profit of his harebrained criminal enterprises.

This thought has increased in frequency in recent months and years.

WHERE’S MY GODDAMN $42 PROTEST CHECK, GEORGE SOROS?!

“They’ve got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.”
-Col. Creighton Adams, at the Battle of the Bulge

The No Kings protests brought 8 million Americans - left, right, and center - to the streets to demonstrate that we are done with this administration’s bullshit.

And we did so without trashing the community and without crashing Grindr.

Meanwhile, Dear Leader had an AI slop temper tantrum.

My favorite part of Trump’s AI response to the largest single-day protest in American history was that he put himself in a dress before flying a shitjet over the protests.

Damn, Donna.

Damn; MAGA is crashing the fuck out.

He’s finally drawing the crowds he loves to brag about.

#NoKings

I can’t wait to see what Hatch Act violations y’all publicly post here.

You stupid motherfuckers.

Otho Sackville-Baggins is too nice an insult, Eru damnit.

They’re Bill Ferny.

It’s funny how all these fascists are obsessed with Tolkien shit. Their evil asses think they’re Aragorn or Gandalf, but really they aren’t Sauron or even Gollum; they’re Otho Sackville-Baggins, selling out the Shire to Sharkey because they married into the spoons-stealing branch of the family.

Congratulations, MAGA.

You jumped from “small government and limited federal overreach” to “FUCK YEAH I’M PRO AUTHORITARIAN POLICE STATE YOU LIBERAL PUSSIES FUCK YOUR RIGHTS AND FUCK MINE TOO YEEHAW CALL THE LAW AIN’T NO GOVERNMENT LIKE BIG GOVERNMENT SKEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!”

Every day, I’m convinced more and more that not enough Nazis were hanged at Nuremberg.

You mean to tell me that the guy who sent the military after cities and states who allowed protests against his human rights violations and child sex trafficking allegations didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize?

Weird. Must be because of woke.