kay from twitter 🥐

fantastique

whaaaaaat!!!

actually the devil dances there

omg I didn't realize she was with you for THREE MONTHS. it's amazing that you did that ❤️❤️❤️❤️ i'm sorry you have to say goodbye :(

At first the bluesky was designed as a.. perfect website..
the feeds didn't glitch out.. every post was funny & high effort.. there was no inscrutable drama or 'main character's

it was a disaster.

which is why the bluesky was redesigned to this.. 2012 twitter.. the peak of your civilization

this is so endearing i felt this

the google search results page for the search 'aaron sorkin siblings.' the results are Noah Sorkin and Deborah Sorkin followed by Sorkin's wikipedia page

things i have frantically googled on more than one occasion

or he could d*e

kevin james looking cheeky in the norman rockwell painting with the guy standing up to bravely say something

her: did you spend all afternoon editing kevin james into that norman rockwell painting?

me:

i was gonna watch ofmd but john oliver's back

i sent that post despite having a change of heart bc i think, if anyone, judith butler would understand the billy butcher that lives in my head

OH! the questionable element is not the fucking. it's interpreting any character of that archetype in a way that would make judith butler raise an eyebrow

yeah as someone who identified as demisexual for a bit i need to ease my way in. we aren't there yet

my favorite wolverine is fat bear wolverine. it could also be ted kord but dc's playin'

i feel like the people who create porn bots should not know what rpf is. changing the trajectory of a porn bot's life by introducing them to niall horan/tyler seguin

this website still feels too fresh and professional for me to comfortably tweet stuff like "grumpy queen karl urban on his way to the bank to cash another check for sexually confusing his teammates with threatening innuendos"

it's weird too bc my replies to you get liked by porn accounts WAY more than my own individual tweets so i'm wondering if it's there's a buzz word in your account info or something

its a mystery how this guy lost the war on drugs

im a bitch / im a plumber
it's-a me / luigi's brother

So a lot of people who are in unstable, abusive, and/or periodically violent living situations keep cell phones hidden for emergencies.

If you know anyone in such a situation, make sure they know about FEMA's testing of its Wireless Emergency Alert (WEA) system next Wednesday.

/1

as soon as the app icon is pretty enough to remind me to open it, we're so back

i griped about threads... Bluesky immediately fixed threads... okayyyyy

for any newer folks, check out this thread to help curate your timeline preferences

"can we cut the gay shit and get this show on the road? i came here for some good man-on-man grappling and slapping football!" hope this guy got a good paycheck

[watches two girls making out] "oh, wait.... I'M gay!" stella you are my ensemble dark horse

bottoms wins for its use of the avril lavigne needle drop

"with the balls? he catches them and he... he throws them?"
"???"
"he's like the main guy"

help she means the quarterback

"i feel like if we keep it up, we can actually take on huntington, you guys"
"no, if we keep it up, we can put our fingers inside of each other. grow up."

"my dad left me and i'm incredibly punctual"