Laura

I’m watching ‘District 9’ for the first time in a decade and I can’t BEGIN to tell you how well it holds up 🫣😬 #district9 #PRAWN

Every once in a while I remember that #Ren described chronic pain as ‘condescending’ and I crash out about how perfect it is ALL OVER AGAIN. 😩#renmakesmusic #rengill #sickboi

Hollywood. May I have a #Columbo movie starring #markruffalo? Please!?

I just saw a headline that said ‘Trump and EU reach trade deal…’ and I’m delighted that it didn’t say ‘America and EU’ because EW. 🤢 #trump #fdt

Still haven’t found the limit. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I insist.

I am begging someone to ask #trump about #genovia and their reaction to his tariffs. LITERALLY BEGGING.

How many times will I have to watch #Sinners before it stops getting better each time?

When Smoke said “I know plenty of musicians but I ain’t never met a happy one.” I felt that. 🥴

Nothin but the facts

Next time someone brings up the Gulf of America in conversation, say, “Oh, that’s cute. Is that what they call it in your culture?” I promise that person will get so mad. 😆 #gulfofamerica #taco #fdt #magats

Hey @tacobell.bsky.social can we get a chicken taco with the orange Doritos shell? For science? 🐓🌮🍊

Took a call at work on Friday from a woman who wanted to file a murder-for-hire complaint with the state attorney. She said there was a whole plot and Tyler Perry was involved and he stole 8 million dollars from her and stole her car and house and sold them too. #talesfromtheAGsoffice

I’ve been adding ‘no witnesses’ to the filings for an upcoming hearing (because we won’t be subpoenaing anyone) and just realized how ominous that sounds without context. 🤫😂

I think I might say ‘thank you’ too much for midwesterners. They get overwhelmed 😂

If I ever borrowed some thing from you and never gave it back, I want you to know that I STILL feel really bad about it. Still. Still do. 🥴

Not Dojo’s ‘End of Beginning’ popping up on shuffle just as my plane coasted into Chicago 😂 #dojo #endofbeginning #backinchicago

Today I got to turn my 6:40 am alarm off for a whole week 🥳 #vacation

Sometimes I wonder if a neurodivergent person invented the “don’t step on the crack or you’ll break your mother’s back” game because they needed a socially acceptable reason to avoid sidewalk cracks. (In case you didn’t know, stepping on the sidewalk cracks is gross.🤢) #adhd #audhd #autism #tism

Yesterday it was around 75° in Lansing. Today it’s snowing. *Jack Sparrow voice* Welcome to the Midwest, love.

Trump is releasing the Kennedy files to distract everyone from his administration blatantly defying a lawful court order don’t get bamboozled 👍🏻 #kennedyfiles #trump #fdt

If you are a Southern California person upset about @schumer.senate.gov ‘s craven betrayal of our country, the theatre his book tour will be at on 3/23 is the Moss Theatre.

Their phone number is 310-828-5582

I heard someone talking about ‘poor Elon Musk’ and I laughed. I won’t be done hating that man until he’s living paycheck to paycheck 😂😂

After daylight savings time, months of winter where sundown comes at 5pm, and moving to from the coast to the western side of the time zone, my internal clock has no idea what time it is. We’re just along for the ride. 😂

That’s amazing 😂

One of my grandmothers cake recipes calls for ‘egg’. Just ‘egg’. We use two eggs when we make it but we genuinely have no clue how many eggs it should really be. 😂

Dear #Canada,
Do what you gotta do.
Sincerely, A Michigander Who Will Probably Pay #Tariffs on her Electricity.
#fdt

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING SEND HELP 😂

Me: living in Michigan, minding my own business
DoorDash (which I share with my sister who still lives in Virginia): WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WAWA!?
😭 #wawa #imissyou

My sister FaceTimed me and asked to speak with my cat. 🐈‍⬛