Douglas Cheape

'So what?' You say, 'yet another Jennifer Lawrence pic.' 'Haud the bus,' says I. 'That there is Helen Mirren back in the day.'

Highland cows pose for an album cover pic.

Check these cool guys 'out and about' to drop the hottest Indie Rock album of 2017.

A ginger nut, the most robust of dunking biscuits, has sheared off into my tea. Everything I once firmly believed in now teeters on a shoogly peg.

Wishing you all strength, Richard.

‘Fraughting’ occurs when two men, both fearing discovery, indulge their sexual passions in a public toilet cubicle.

It once was fixed
The line betwixt,
Poetry and prose,
Now asunder cleft,
By warp and weft,
That’s just the way it goes.

DJ GPO here, spinning his tunes on the wireless.

Another fucking Monday.

Hey, my girlfriend saw you from across the bar…

I fear I have mischaracterised Sir Keir Starmer. It appears he can in fact stand lower in my estimation.

A ‘House Mallet’, yes.

Hello, my name is Dougie and I am addicted to M&S lemon and lime Jaffa Cakes.

*10pts to whoever recommended these.
**I sense there will be many similar posts of this nature in the immediate future.

March Magnum.

Christ on a bike!
What fresh Hellmanns mayonnaise is this?

No, it’s a good Scots word too.
My favourite use was one overheard by myself in an exchange between two ladies as I walked the dog around Strathclyde Park.
‘It’s waarm int’ it?’ Sighed one.
‘Aye, ma oaxters are gein’ me the dry boak.’ Came the splendidly candid reply.

A Polar Bear orders a 99 flake with raspberry sauce at an ice cream van window.

Meanwhile, in the Western Isles, Donald was starting to have doubts about taking his ice cream van out to celebrate the first day of Spring .

Devilled eggs presented in the shape of a clock.

‘Devilled Eggs’ were a big thing in North Carolina when we lived there. I did not see a clock, but there was one in the shape of a smiling face. Somewhat startlingly the tongue was tomato and the teeth were pointy carved radish. I am actually glad I didn’t take a picture.

Oh my.

The benefits of a classical education.

Now is a moment to reshare this video

The ancient Romans celebrate the first ‘honk’ of spring.

Whenever I'm struggling with my coordination, I always remember what Whitney told me,
'HAAAAND EEEYYYEEEEE'.

That sea looks waaaarm ♥️

YouTube video by PinkJazzTrancers They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse In Your Soul (The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson 04/03/1990)

This just turned up in my YouTube algorithm, so it’d be rude not to share.

A photo of a packet of 15 CHEESY SINGLES

‘I thought we agreed to call it The Best of REO Speedwagon’

If it helps, I once got a rejection letter one full year after submission. The scenarios that could have caused this delay still occasionally play out in mind.

YouTube video by ReadAboutThisVideo LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN - Neil Sedaka at the Midnight Special

Also check out his tall male backing singer. Absolutely living his best life. youtu.be/2IrDz-urxVw?...

All part of life’s rich travesty.

Sorting through my pics from a visit to the Natural History Museum in London today.

“HUMANS EMERGE”

*Audience starts booing*

I heard he could do a Gay Gordons blindfold.