god’s favorite mistake

Listen celebrities don’t fucking need my help but I hate when people just say shit without knowing shit. There is a lot of TV footage of that lady with a very prominently chipped front tooth mkay.

I can feel the pre-menstrual bad attitude rising because why tf am I in instragram comments correcting people who are saying Amy Poehler fibbed about having a chipped tooth to justify getting veneers

Listen my posts are for my own entertainment in case that wasn’t abundantly obvious. Engagement? The only engagement I have is when I got engaged during the pandemmy and now I’m married so I’m good. No more engagement for me.

I didn’t say it was a good thing

Maybe the people who know you see you more for yourself than for your size

It’a largely considered gauche to comment on people’s weight positively or negatively these days, might be why no one has said anything

“You can come back at 10am and shop with the rest of the filthy disgusting peasants” 😔

I can’t believe my beloved Costco, food court of the people, would betray me like this. My entire world has come off its axis.

The humiliation I felt being turned away at the door at Costco just now because I didn’t know there was such a thing as *Executive Member Hours* is frankly devastating and I don’t think I’ll ever recover.

Had someone’s off leash dog run a circle around me and my dog, my dog wrapped the leash around my leg so hard it cut my shin and I almost fell over, people from yards away just sat and yelled “he’s friendly!” 😡

I mean he did know who June Diane Raphael is at least which is more important

Literally told this to Ryan last night and he was like “I don’t know who Paul Scheer is” 🙄

be kind to yourself. it will piss a lot of people off.

Anna Delvey was giving literally nothing, less than zero, barely answered a single question, and Ziwe still had her sweating bullets by the end hehe

Girl is s w e a t i n g also this came out a whole year ago? And she was on dancing with the stars????? While under house arrest???? How does that even work

There’s several parts I keep revisiting, it’s the kind of movie that really sticks with you

Sorry Ziwe interviewed Anna Delvey and none of you freaks said anything about it?

Gonna need someone besides my husband to go see Bugonia so I can talk about it to someone who hasn’t heard all my thoughts on it already.

I do my best not to talk in the theatre but I did gasp out loud, cover my eyes, squirm in my seat, and clutch my hands to my chest, and I feel like the man on the other side of me who did not react at all the entire movie probably didn’t appreciate any of that.

Saw Bugonia last night and had to reach over to clutch my husband’s hand so hard my rings bit into my fingers, 4/5 stars

This is how I realized I only know Anne Hathaway from like 4 movies

So crazy to wake up and check the news and NOT need to coax myself off the ledge of crippling depression????

Hey what up I just read through a whole explanation of the Kibbe Body Type system and I’ve concluded it’s nonsense, okay good night.

I recently discovered you can get chocolate milk at the AMC by my house and listen, chocolate milk kicks ass, but that’s weird right?

Debating going to see a movie by myself later but feeling thwarted by the idea of leaving my house for a second time in one day.

The sample reading I opened up starts with the forward thanking God and moves on to a full page excerpt from the book of Proverbs. The first word of the first chapter? Yep it’s “God.”

All the female protagonists appear to be widows, why is this.

🥳🥳🥳⭐️⭐️⭐️🩷🩷🍾🍾🍾

I have found a bunch of Amish romance novels on Libby and I’m wondering how much of my own time I want to waste on finding out what could possibly go on in these books.

Ugh I know, and I’m in a fantasy bake off league so I’m also missing out on points