Kefir Pechuga

It's worth jacking off to people you're afraid to like occasionally

Not smoking weed feels like you should have more time in the day, but to some extent nah time just goes by fast on its own

Might be time for another cuphead run

Rushing to the restaurant after fucking to get food before they close is a top dating experience

What's the point of phone pay? Why can't I just type in the number I've had it memorized for years

Girls keeping you up late for no reason is a maternal instinct to make sure you can operate on no sleep to take care of a child

I should keep a tally for everytime a redditor brags about not having social media. When I hit 100 I won't go online for a week. Probably sitting about 80

Galentine's any day but the 14th is for cowards

As someone who loves and rides bikes 5/7 days a week, calling the seat a "saddle" kills me. Needless sandoification

Idk if I'll every have kids/nuclear family type deal, but I'm not too worried about Dying Alone. Think there'll at least be some friend(s) by the bed :)

Let's get this bread money

Why do alcohol studies always say x drinks/day? Besides alcoholics and wine moms who's drinking every day? 2 beers one day, 4 beers another, even 8+ on a weekend, but every day is an odd cadence. Getting the worst of the worst that way.

The percentage of cool tattoos I see goes down every year

I hate the 3 letterification of every city. Why???

It's crazy being 30 odd years old and doing a new sex thing you thought was made up by over-imaginative children

You leave one Maps review and google is like IT'S SO FUCKING GREAT THAT YOU DID THAT, PLEASE WRITE MORE YOU'RE SO COOL PLEASE WRITE MORE

This is so beautiful. The way he doffs the gloves. The way they rip eachothers masks off. Lovers of a different passion

Onions no longer make me cry

The piano teacher but with somebody who's really good at DDR

Every mocktail needs to pass the "is this better than a soda/gatorade?" test

I wish you could communicate to people you're not interested in who like you on multiple dating apps some kind of "good job, keep trying" message

Cumming once in a day causes moodiness the following. Twice+ causes peace and contentedness

Having sex makes me so horny

Small boy children are a perfect evolution of the gay bff archetype for mothers

If I make it to 40 without having children I'm going to hike the CDT

Saw somebody doing a puzzle at the library. Inspirational

Dating apps are great for finding 20 times as many options who are 80% as attractive as you could pull irl

High time for a house revival. Feels right