dan

Oh by the way I'm recently engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world

🫵

All news lately reads like "Live Update: House narrowly passes pro-torture bill" or "Israel opens fire at children while they learn to walk."

using the V.A.T.S. system to light my bowl

Every single day this happens now

Super milk cart

gimme that kuromi limited edition bath bomb strain

They should make a cart that tastes like the Lush store

Meme: Drawing of a baby rabbit wearing an armoured helmet and leaf armour shawl, carrying a book under one arm, holding a spear with a teapot, hooked onto the metal spearhead that is trident shaped.

Good morning rebels...

Okay. The artist did reshare it but I get what you're saying

Modern version of this one

so the members of congress just stopped going to el salvador and not a single person who was illegally sent there has been returned and that’s just how it is now?

....and another thing.

Little known fact: when quarterbacks are looking at the card on their wrists in a high-pressure situation they are reading a little note that says “JUST BE YOURSELF. :)”

The world's richest man managed to take $190 million away from a *child cancer research center* with his posts yesterday. Funding now stripped in the new bill.

Homeboy stopped the wrong lady

(H/T @agirlhasnopres.bsky.social )

I hope my afterlife is a series of non sequential pulp sword and sorcery adventures

Heeey buddy it's getting close to the deadline and you haven't signed the I won't kill my boss pledge. Yeah you technically have 48 hours left but just like everyone else has signed it already

hahahahahahahahahaha

Boss absolutely gushing about how cool and good at my job I am

Boss nominated me for a leadership program at work 😎

RadioShack Crystal Phone (1990s)📞✨

If birds would just realize that I'm super chill and let me interact with them they wouldn't regret it. I'd be their friend, in fact

Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work