I hate taking a selfie only to remember I'm 20 years older than I thought I was
08.05.2025 02:10 — 👍 247 🔁 78 💬 10 📌 0I hate taking a selfie only to remember I'm 20 years older than I thought I was
08.05.2025 02:10 — 👍 247 🔁 78 💬 10 📌 0Cruising my TL, which is a mutuals feed, the only one I use, and I see a post by someone I don't follow and they don't follow me. Hey Bluesky, what the fuck is this shit?
09.06.2025 05:20 — 👍 9 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0I wish I came home to you
09.06.2025 01:57 — 👍 34 🔁 7 💬 1 📌 0Starting the day off right by going for a walk, against my will
26.04.2025 13:18 — 👍 30 🔁 15 💬 1 📌 0My dog thinks that it’s time for shenanigans so I guess that’s what we’ll do
09.06.2025 02:39 — 👍 24 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 0
Goddamn but I enjoy some of you!
(not you, sit down)
Being nice is getting me nowhere from now on I shall be evil instead
08.06.2025 17:46 — 👍 69 🔁 20 💬 11 📌 0I feel like I could sleep for a week straight and still not be rested enough
09.06.2025 00:54 — 👍 78 🔁 6 💬 6 📌 1If you love something set it to music.
02.06.2025 12:32 — 👍 255 🔁 101 💬 11 📌 0death by microtransaction
31.05.2025 06:03 — 👍 51 🔁 20 💬 0 📌 0Every joke I make is a reflection of a real life situation and not at all imaginary I hope this helps
09.06.2025 02:43 — 👍 47 🔁 16 💬 5 📌 0My sexual prime is between the hours of 10pm and 3am.
02.06.2025 23:41 — 👍 92 🔁 32 💬 7 📌 0Coffee with the hint of shut the fuck up.
04.06.2025 21:05 — 👍 124 🔁 42 💬 13 📌 0
If someone puts energy into dragging you down remember it is likely because they are beneath you.
The real power comes from lifting people up.
"parkrun" start and finish signs are mounted two feet apart on railings. A beach and water are in the background.
i should probably stretch first
05.06.2025 15:12 — 👍 1202 🔁 135 💬 55 📌 8
When someone asks a question that makes the meeting last 15 minutes longer
05.06.2025 15:45 — 👍 685 🔁 103 💬 13 📌 7I’ll press like but I will most certainly not smash that subscribe.
06.06.2025 07:37 — 👍 177 🔁 63 💬 3 📌 0It breaks my heart when people can relate to my posts. I mean, what sort of chance do they stand?
06.06.2025 07:16 — 👍 51 🔁 14 💬 2 📌 0Can’t right now, I’ve almost figured out the key my tinnitus is in
08.06.2025 13:35 — 👍 116 🔁 37 💬 7 📌 2“How to stop an overflowing toilet” should not have a 30 second commercial before it on YouTube.
08.06.2025 12:08 — 👍 9325 🔁 650 💬 251 📌 50
I long to leave this pain and run
to a humble hovel deep in the wood
if only for a single second to smile
in a place where the world cannot see
#vss365
[road trip]
DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom.
ME: *pulls into rest stop*
DAUGHTER: Thanks.
ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes.
DAUGHTER: I will.
ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once.
DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother.
ME: Exactly.
Universality is overrated; I’d rather be irreplaceable to one than indistinct to many.
08.06.2025 23:21 — 👍 33 🔁 18 💬 1 📌 0
END SIMULATION
END SIMULATION!!