𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗦 🖤

One of the most cruel things in life is losing the best people in our lives. Man it sucks.

💯 agree with your double the thoughts. 😣

Thank you. 🩷

It truly is.

4 mos ago, today, I lost my bff of over 20 years to a brief 5 month fight with breast cancer.

Now that the holidays, the crazy weather, all the birthdays in our family are over …things are settling down…

And man, this week it’s hit me hard. It’s finally becoming real.

God I miss you.

#FuckCancer

But now I feel lost.

I’m unsure whether to push for a final 10lbs or simply work on maintaining & toning/exercising more.

Deciding what comes next & knowing what’s best for myself is so hard.

But at least one bit of good came out of a truly horrible year & reminds me just how strong I am.😌

4/4

I wanted to hit the last 10 by the end of the year… and I just barely did. It took 2.5 mos!

I’m just really proud of myself, and I’m finally starting to feel comfortable in my body again. ❤️

(I’ve struggled with my weight for the last 20 years with little success in anything but gaining more)

3/4

In August ’24 I started a weight-loss journey that I actually stuck with, and it took exactly one year to reach my big goal. August ‘25.

And despite the hardest days of the already ridiculous year coming shortly after reaching that goal, I kept working hard and lost 25 more!!!

2/4

2025 was heartbreakingly awful & these days I’m not doing great. At all.

I don’t plan on being active on my kink social medias anytime soon, and I’m leaving X deactivated indefinitely. (possibly deleting)

I wasn’t even going to reactivate here but wanted to share this somewhere mostly anon.

1/4

Fever only lasted a day, but…

I’m Still sick, Still in bed, and Still insufferably cranky!!!

This attitude (andddd mouth 😬) is entirely out of control.

(I can’t help it, though … being sick ALWAYS makes me this way!!!)

Probably should knock it off, but —

Hmph. I’m not going to. 😤😒

#Mood

Welp…this is fun.

Youngest has been sick since Sun and my oldest Tues.

Miraculously both woke up this morning bright & early (4:45) feeling GREAT, but I … wasn’t.

Tried my best, but Mr. Vs having to take over for a bit.🥵🥶🤒

(Also…I make a terrible patient when sick…thoughts & prayers for him 😬)

It’s past 2AM, and I’m wide awake & absolutely FERAL.

All I can think about is my deepest, darkest, most awful, disgusting & degrading kinks…and what I’d do to please you.

Fuck…

(Also, no idea why my depression plummets Every F*cking Year like clockwork before the holidays.

I’ve always loved winter, family time, gift-giving, baking, and all things
sparkly. ✨

But it’s been this way since the late 2000s - not long after I was 1st diagnosed.)

So frustrating.

•sigh•

Bravely switched psychs last Dec after 6 years & today’s appt once again reminded me I made the right choice.

The holidays always wreck my mental health, but it usually eases soon after…

But if it doesn’t, she and I have a plan.

Even with grief in the mix this year, I know I’ve got this! ❤️

This. 😌

Happy birthday! ❤️

Nothing is touching this depression. Not walks, not talks, not SSRIs. NOTHING.

So fuck it — literally.

All day marathon with my vibrator starts now…

If orgasms can't fix me, at least they'll distract me. 🖤

But depression is telling me
differently…😔

Music that feels like grief and healing at the same time.

YouTube video by In This Moment - Topic Into the Light

🖤🥀

That same ad came across my (extremely vanilla) FB feed just the other day! 😋

Fashion's most exclusive brand in 2025?

#GrinchSocks, of course!

Thanks, Mr. V.

(especially for eating the meal
so I didn't have to 🥴🥴🤮)

#ParisFashionWeek could never!

#SoldOut #McDonalds #LimitedEdition
#NaughtyList #MysteriousBruises #Grinchmas

Awww. What beautiful dogs!!!! Thank you for sharing their pics.

Dogs truly do heal us, don’t they? 🐾❤️

I’ve considered some of those options but will probably just let his ears do what they want. Plus, at 7 months I’m guessing it may be a bit late?

Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

I am too. Animals are such precious, amazing little partners in life. ❤️

Thank you for such kind words. ❤️

Yesssss!!!! 😁

I deeply feel this one. 😌

Anytime I don’t reply fast to DMs is a reflection of me. Never anyone else.

I don’t mean to make anyone ever feel bad…or as if I don’t care

I promise I will reply & I won’t forget about them/you.

I’m just … I’m struggling right now … and HARD with my mental health and being able to talk much. 😔