Malcolm Here

Me to my small: you smell like you pooped
Her: no. Flowers. You smell flowers. No poop.

I was correct.

And the #AbbotsfordCanucks won the Western Conference tonight against the #TexasStars and are headed to the #CalderCup. A great night for Greater Vancouver sports teams!

Couldn’t we ask the #americanambassadore go home in light of #trumpstarriffs?

I love herons…but our local heron douchebag is eating our goldfish.

Lots of company….😩

What I find the worst is …. being upfront that we are in a bit of trouble….and not being able to punch ourselves out of a wet paper bag. …. Me right now.

Fuck. I’ll be sixty by then. I’ll do it for 5% of this contract.

Thinking of taking up football lessons…..

I just used powdered milk in my instant coffee.

It’s that kind of morning

Fuck.

What did #jdvance do?

So I am the night watch. Joanie (my mother in law) is in a care home and I am tasked with doing her night time meds.

I don’t want her to die on my watch.

It’s kind of fucking killing me here.

I have a bunch somewhere

Yip. Friday

So my 15yo is listening to Pisse. A German punk band. He says their lyrics don’t make any sense but he likes their vibe.

Gino and Pavel are twins.

Ok. So child was just awake….fucking WIDE AWAKE for the last hour. #wtf

But thanks for the compliment!!

First time tiling. 😀
The plumbing part is easy but it sure looks like like shit on the inside!!

Channeling my inner plumber and tiler vibes

No. Just no.

Just some of the text interactions I have with my wife….
#autocorrectBOOST

This is tooooo many socks for me to
Be comfortable with.

It’s such a funny word….but I NEED aid for my #caulk

Playing hide and seek with our 6 and I discover she can’t say COUNT.

She kept saying to me :
You c*unt, daddy! You c*unt.

#grout. The great equalizer.

I hate this part.

I want to go and grout it….instead……I have to painstakingly go over imperfections, spots of thin set and file down any edges BEFORE I grout.

In fact what I really want to do is go and start the kitchen build that is next

Conservative supporters in my neighbourhood are attacking @terrybeech.bsky.social signs.

So special.

Dishes and laundry are a constant assault on my being good natured.

I love it when you get angry Raffi. You need to do a rage filled adult show in the future. #belugaGrandparents