juna

"wishing she would hurt the me I'm not" (cw some... confusing imagery around assault)

Also heres my Halloween costume

gift from emma

lot of overlap between chasers and cinephiles the way they’re both looking for a 35mm experience

(girl who wants to wash the dishes with you for the rest of her life voice) uh, you wanna VC later??

(Girl who wishes you had a cervix to press up against) whatever you're not even my type anyway

(visibly hard) you hate me.

im sorry but i need to put on a northernlion video and shoot a watery load in her

call me montresor the way i left a girl bricked up in my cellar

T-shirt that says "I cannot in good conscience come to any conclusion on whether or not anyone knows I'm a transsexual" and "I- relatedly, -also cannot cum" on the back

silksong ragebait

That voicetraining hit like a honey pack

at the sushi restaurant declining ebay offers all day long

Back at it again

"—you really hate to see someone going 0-3 so late into an event. Looks like SonicFox is going for the handshake; xXDwyer.GamingXx appears to be reaching for something now..."

It’s menopause august

halfway through my cut the barber said This one is gonna be a learning experience for us both and i said What

they don't want pussy. they want to endlessly critique pussy

Getting post partum when the 20 year old who keeps asking you for advice finally updates the pronouns in her bio

Her (breathing evening out, looking up): Hey, baby, what's wrong? Why'd you stop?

Me: Nothing, it's just- you're beautiful.

Malfunctioning John Green tulpa (came standard issue with using Tumblr circa 2015-2020): Do. Epic. Shit. With. Her. Penis.

Last night we let Joe Pera talk

HEAD MUST BE PORTIS THE WAY IT HAD ME DUMMY 😵‍💫

quitting league

i left for a week and the city got chinese

if the movie’s bad you lowkey have an obligation to be on your phone

what’s that

listen if we're Talking Head, Girlfriend is Better