dats_moy

OMG my family does this too, and there’s always at least one person who will crosspost in every single one. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Mom: Come on then. Tell us one of your little stories

Aesop: They’re called fables, Mom

just lost $100,000 on a polymarket bet that trump would negotiate a peace deal today with putin. i was sure of it. i can't believe i lost all this money. he wrote the art of the deal.

Well that must have been an ugly match. 😳

Pretty sure that everyone on earth could have guessed how that self-assessment would go.

a black and white photo of a woman wearing a leather top ALT: a black and white photo of a woman wearing a leather top

We’ve reached the “the bride is so stressed that she bursts into random bouts of tears” stage of the wedding week.

A deeply unserious country.

A CNN headline reads: "The latest fleeting TikTok beauty trend? Looking tired"

my moment has arrived

Put this in a museum.🤣

I almost spit out my coffee. I needed this today. 💀

Oompa Loompa headass is art.

Slightly diminish a band

Mild Anxiety. at the Disco

Noted criminal hotbed, *checks notes* Georgetown. There aren’t even enough drunk frat bros to arrest at this time of year, they should come back in a few weeks.

And how many of that small group were actually doing anything other than not being nice to the cops? They probably had army units out there to pick up 5 possible criminals.

As a woman who was around in 2023 and already in possession of an absurd amount of makeup, I can confirm that they have seriously miscalculated.🫣

It’s wild how people pretend not to notice that these people are actually insanely trashy, just because they are supposedly rich.

America’s what now? 🤨

The photo selection. 🧑‍🍳😘

I’m so fucking tired of these assholes.

Given the money that Netflix is pouring into the As Ever product line I highly doubt that. Producing and distributing a line like that isn’t cheap.

It’s genuinely an incomprehensible move, which of Elf’s target customers is this supposed to appeal to?

I did! I probably should have let my mascara dry a few more seconds so that I wouldn’t have gotten raccoon eyes when the spray attacked my eyes and I immediately scrunched them up. Also, everyone who said it keeps you matte is a liar. It’s roughly the same as the MILK one I’d been using. 😒

This is actually an interesting theory, although I’m not so sure how “slow” that memory loss has actually been.

Finally getting around to trying out some of my unnecessary makeup purchases, and I think I might be the first person to not be overly impressed by the Patrick Starr setting spray. 🫤

a man is carrying a suitcase in a living room and says i got nothin ' left ALT: a man is carrying a suitcase in a living room and says i got nothin ' left

We’re under 2 weeks out from this wedding and 5 days out from the first wedding related event. Gearing up for a week of events, across 2 cities, & I haven’t finished writing my MOH toast or organizing the bachelorette, it feels like planning the royal wedding. At least my family isn’t insane, oh…

It’s everything that they hallucinated Obama was doing.

a man with glasses says " that 's gonna be a yikes from me dawg " while holding a card ALT: a man with glasses says " that 's gonna be a yikes from me dawg " while holding a card

Glad I missed this entire episode of beauty internet.

“You see, we had a meeting at 7pm not 5pm, and we didn’t discuss how to message around Epstein, we talked about how to least suspiciously off Maxwell.”