No Good At This

It’s been on life support since 2009. I’m not holding my breath

Vampires react to light in a similar manner. Just saying

Big Meat Balls

Don’t help that song become more airplay friendly one iota does it?
#MeatballsInASongOrMovie

I knew my time would come

Translation: Look out. I’ve under a bridge.

Year from now: Democrats must report to reeducation camps now.

Oh no! How will they cope!!!

In a sane world, this would immediately result in their broadcast license being revoked. We don’t live in a sane world

They revel in their own repulsiveness, like a bird in a birdbath

What possible justification can they trot out, or are we at the “Fuck you, stop us” phase?

Hence his immense popularity among conservatives

Their plan to is to dominate/conquer all the land from the North Pole to the Canal of Panama

* whistles innocently
#OddUsesForSocks

The Horror. The Horror.

They are so itching to use a nuke, as they are attempting to normalize every other barbaric human impulse

#WhenIsItTimeToUnplug

The people who name these missions are such pretentious assholes

I spell colour correctly

With the tagline “We’re in Everything”

Translation: Obviously we won’t ask the families of the slain their thoughts. Clearly

Translation: We plan to conquer totally unwilling countries, and call it peace

The wave of instability over the next 20 years will be unpleasant to experience

Arguments on the Internet? Fetch the fainting couch
#TheOnlyArgumentICanWin

I don’t have one, unlike all you pretentious 3 namers
#WhatMyMiddleNameIs

You know he’s going to move on Canada fairly soon

They are this close to openly using “Crusade”

Translation: We’ll prevent you from voting, so think of the fuel you’ll save not driving to a polling station

#TheBooksThatIRead
Are best before bed
#TheBooksThatIRead
Have lessons to heed

Isn’t English fun

He just Hindenburg’d his reputation

You’ve got people in Ontario miffed at you