Nick Marsh

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The Express Diaries – Horror on the Orient Express novelisation now available again, for free.
www.patreon.com/posts/expres...

I am choosing to take this as a compliment, and not think too hard about it otherwise…

Never heard of it.

A novelisation of Horror on the Orient Express.

Also re-releasing next week.

Things in the world are tough, I know, but it hasn’t always been this way. There was a time, not so very long ago, when Kit Kats came in a little jacket of tinfoil which you could smooth down and imprint the logo onto.

I know it’s hard to imagine now, but those times will come again.

How far back in time can you understand English? An experiment in language change

If you liked this experiment, I published a full piece today in the same vein: a text that gets 100 years older with every section, from a modern blog post to a medieval chronicle.

It's a single story spanning 1000 years of English. See how far you get.

www.deadlanguagesociety.com/p/how-far-ba...

'Buckets?

No.'

Five directors I've watched at least five films by:

Alfred Hitchcock
Kathryn Bigelow
Taika Waititi
Adam Curtis
John Huston

Five authors I've read five books by:

Douglas Adams
Margaret Atwood
Alan Moore
Margaret Weis
James Herbert

The college where my partner works have rebranded the library as the ‘digital learning quarter’. 🤢

That’s depressing. In our area, many shops (and, I should point out for legal reasons, not the ones pictured here, I’m sure) are fronts for money laundering.

I have kind of described this already.

These are the shops on our road. A tattoo parlour is surrounded by a barber (closed down), a barber (opening), a hair salon, a hair salon and a hair salon. Opposite this picture is a hair salons. The next block of shops has three hair salons, and there are two hair salons on the next street.

Douglas Adams talked about the ‘shoe event horizon’, where a society becomes so depressed and degenerate that it is economically impossible to build anything but shoe shops.

Finally! We needed a bit of rain.

Years ago, I went for an interview to be a baker. As I sat down, I noticed a lump of pale yellow material covered in flour on the table.
‘What’s that?’ I asked the interviewer.
‘Dough,’ they said. ‘You’ll be kneading that.’

The clouds above had parted
And all men thought that they had seen heaven
All men, that is, except for me
Coz it’s still raining in fucking Devon.

A well-cooked sausage sits happily on a mustard-coloured oblong plate, covered with a sprig of pea shoot.

You know you’re in a posh place when you order a sausage for the dog and it comes with a garnish.

*nods slowly and solemnly* They did. They did.
Some wine as well!

C3POs lit-up head sits on our side table, flanked by two glasses of champagne. He is possibly pissed off because he can’t drink, given that he has no arms. But he probably wouldn’t drink anyway; might bollock up his innards.

Surprise visit from the parents with a few pressies! Chin chin bitches

In the last few days, my daughter has taken me hunting for frogspawn, knitted a whole hat and we escaped an escape room together, while my son has GMed his first session of D&D, watched The Shining with me and read Animal Farm to me.

Feeling lucky to have kids nearly as cool as I am.

My happy hands hold copies of Judge Dredd annual 1982 and 2000ad annual 1979.

Zarjaz loot drop from my local charity shop.

A poster for various bands in Plymouth including: TRAMADOL SEX GERMS BAD EGG YOUTH GONE PLAGUE PIT DRUG MULE ICE BATHS

Some of the finest band names I have ever seen.

My son just emailed me for GMing advice and as far as I’m concerned this is the whole point of being a parent.

Once Bitten Check out this great listen on Audible.com. When Alan Reece qualified as a veterinary surgeon at the dawn of the new millennium, he had a plan: save the world, one animal at a time. Of course, no pla...

I still have a few promo codes for the audiobook of my veterinary autobiography, ‘Once Bitten’ - so if anyone fancies a listen, drop me a DM. I’d appreciate a review on Audible if you like it though! (You can shut right up if you don’t)

#audiobooks #veterinary

www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0FVBDCJS...

Nothing to do with Roger’s and my podcast, but I watched ‘The Life of Chuck’ because I read it was a very emotionally moving film. The reports were accurate because it made me angry.
#ribbonofmemes #film

You’ve basically got the film summary right there.

Is the Michael Crawford-starring action superish heroish film Condorman from back in the Disney live action days a masterpiece?
It’s seems unlikely, honestly, but find out what Roger and I thought in #ribbonofmemes !

ribbonofmemes.org.uk/archive/2026...

#film #disney #manwithbigwings

My dashboard 7.57am (too early if you ask me, but nobody did) and it’s -4 degrees outside.

I’m going out. I may be gone for some time.

A box of Bubble Gum Camel Balls, extra sour and liquid filled. In case it isn’t clear what you are buying, a large camel viewed from behind is turning and grinning at us, presumably proud of his giant testicles - a pair that would make Buster Gonad jealous - that are prominently on display.

Can we go in the sweet shop daddy?’
‘Yes, of course kids. There will be nothing inappropriate in a sweet shop.’