Adam Somang Karlson

I feel like James Franco talks about his Comedy Central Roast like that one guy at the end of Sinners

I think DOGE would try to cut the redundancies

Genuinely curious. Should it be illegal for poly people to run for public office?

The papacy has no use for me

What’s the fuckin point man

Ain’t no way to pronounce tiramisu where it don’t sound Japanese

I feel like if you made Sabrina Carpenter chug a Bang energy drink it would kill her so I hope nobody does that

Oh god it’s everywhere

I hate Mahomes but I will always respect a man who plays ball like he hates his wife

Time travel IS POSSIBLE, nobody showed up to your party cause you were friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Fuckin loser dude

Saw a therapy dog get PTSD at a Los Angeles Costco

My dad likes Camp Lazlo more than your dad does

I think I'd like to age into dressing like a 1970s basketball coach. Turtleneck under a checkered blazer. Slightly flared leg. Those guys figured something out that Reagan forced us to forget and I want to relearn it.

this one sorcerer who lives across the street keeps casting a spell that changes my opinions about stuff and i love it

If I was Jeffrey Dahmer I would’ve just did that shit to ants instead of people

videojuego,,,VIDEOJUEGO, ,

White cannibals don’t even season their people 🤣🤣🤣

I’m probably the Michael Jordan of guys who think about swords and Hunter Schafer at work

*centrist political opinion mixed with a media reference that doesn’t anger the current institutions in power or potential employers*

New Sonic trailer just showed a cop turning off his bodycam

These violent delights are ruining my marriage

Clown girls make me feel like the bad guy in the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Godwilling

What do you mean I can’t get angel shots for the table?

Can’t wait to get a girlfriend so we can do Roger from American Dad things together

Every single time my mom sees a light skinned actress she asks me if it’s Zendaya. And every single time I say yes

Can’t wait for an overrated actor to go method for the role of Santa and he just becomes a nicer and more jolly person on set

My mind Palace is just a big ass Wendy’s with a cashier so hot that I’m too shy to ask them for access to my memories

going to tanks giving and saying ALL the slurs like weiner and Poopfarts and then my uncle (a Noted Prude) shoots me with a gun, thru the heart

Everything Yukio Mishima ever wrote, I did it first, better, and prettier

Every time a British person pronounces yogurt, I look up IRA highlights