Hee Hee Hoo Hoo 🥸

Oh to be a bigger artist that can rake in thousands with each opening or each project

Good for them I just envy it

Like I'm sorry, it screams not having a backbone when it comes to queer folks and their rights, and you're not excused from that sentiment just because you're queer. I find it sad personally.

Like yeah no shit I'm not gonna police what you do with your cash but it does reflect negatively on you and I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't

But if you're not willing to so much as give up mediocre chicken for your liberation I don't trust you to fight for it either and I don't fw that

Not to be the furry that's too woke or whatever but I do judge you for eating CFA and friends aren't really exempt from that

I'll expand on this when I'm not completely exhausted but it's interesting how hard it is to pin down this fandom, yk?

Like I firmly believe that this community is not nearly as superficial as many make it out to be, but sometimes it feels like it

Obv the culprit is everyone is different but hmmm

I don't really know why I care because I actually don't fw this person regardless but the blatant disrespect does still bug me

It is soooooo crazy telling when someone treats me poorly and I tell someone about it and they talk shit about said person with me before immediately going back to being friends with them. I fucking see you man.

The edible is hitting and I can feel in my soul that I'm gonna have another magnum opus level Glass Animals spotify badge coming

Like idk! I feel like I'm starting to actually integrate into groups instead of feeling like a floater or like I'm off to the side and that makes me happy. It's been really really awesome to go to gatherings and have people be like "yeah let's make plans for later this week"

For the first time in a good WHILE I actually feel comfortable and connected with my local community and that's actually fucking awesome

"TAXES GOT ME OUT OF DEBT" //sound of train hitting me

(It's not joever for me financially I'm just bummed lol)

Thank you tax refund for affording me a memorial piece for my dog :')))

I don't expect actual answers, this isn't an exact science and there's not some piece of a formula I'm missing, I know I just have to keep trying but UGH it feels like all my effort just goes to waste sometimes and it frustrates me to all shit because it confirms I can't live this way :')

I'm not the best artist in the world but I like to think that I charge decent prices for sometimes pretty damn good work, idk what I'm missing...

And sometimes it'll feel like in certain circles there're folks that will comm everyone except for me (likely not actually true but it feels like it h)

I don't want to sound entitled or anything, I'm not owed comms by any means and if what I have to offer isn't what someone is looking for I don't want someone's money to be spent on something they don't want

But it also starts to become like. What do other people have that I don't, y'know?

Trying to push comms really is starting to get discouraging

Economy bad, yes, but there's only so many times I can be ignored by people who are actively looking for art before I start to get tired

I hate this live voicemail shit. I see why it's useful but if someone answers the phone in the middle of me leaving a voicemail one more time I WILL lose it

Like if you feel ostracized have you considered it may be in relation to how you conduct yourself instead of blaming it solely on the fact that you're sfw? Some people garnering a large following from creating nsfw content doesn't make it a requirement to exist in furry spaces.

Another I guess warm take is that if you don't think you have a place in this fandom bc you choose not to engage with nsfw it's kind of on you.

Like, I'm sorry, my sfw content gets more attention, I'm never nsfw in person, and I still feel very connected to this fandom. There are so many sfw furs.

Sometimes this'll even be in reference to people that I've like. Stayed at their place. Or hung out with at cons for reasonable periods of time. Why the fuck would they do that for the sake of "being nice"
I hate what social media has done to my brain

"Oh hey I'm friends with this person irl but they don't follow me on [insert platform] so clearly it's a face and they're just being nice" is so fucking stupid to say aloud but it still gets me sometimes and it totally shouldn't??? Who cares man this person is my homie and I can just talk to them.

I think I'm still needing to work on killing the parasocialism in my brain but god I wish like... interactions/being mutuals/etc with ppl didn't violently warp my perceptions of irl interactions with them

I'm gonna open cheap doodle comms soon as I'm done crashing the fuck out over how ridiculous my work schedule is (but at least it's money i guess...)

Bills bouta have me TWEAKING

Not to mention cutting my expenses over last month by $500 what a fucking win

Slashed some of my con plans for this year and got approval for a tiny bit of food assistance holy shit we turning the finances around boys

Actually better yet? Even if I was less financially stable than I am now? I didn't ask for your financial advice. I'm not fucking stupid, I know less cons=More money, I'm a grown ass adult that knows how to make decisions and I don't need your unsolicited commentary, keep that shit to yourself.

I have paid for flights for four cons in two years with the literal cheapest available flights. I feel like that's not that crazy?

I save and cut costs quite literally at every available opportunity to have my cons be more budget friendly. I'm not sorry for going to see friends twice a year.

I drive to cons when I have a little bit of money to spare to see my friends. I make bigger trips when I'm able to plan that well in advance and handle that financially. I'm not irresponsible for that. I handle my money fine.

I sincerely need people to stop making assumptions about my finances in regards to the amount of cons I attend.

People act like college kid broke because I travel across the country 6+ times a year when the reality is I've driven myself to 2/3s of my cons and my gas is a fraction the cost.