Bobby Benedict

Okay, he can be Pope, but I'm NOT calling him dad.

New Pope? Didn’t Coca Cola already try this in the 80s?

I wonder who would win, 4 men or 1 monitor lizard?

Just tell MTG the CEO of Jesus died and then she’ll know what you’re talking about.

Hegseth going in drunken rants at Easter with 1 sideburn proves unequivocally that Trumps administration is just everyone’s worst uncles.

Not surprised this Trump loving trash governor would hate his own people, he's never acted any other way.

What's the over/under on Trump claiming 9/11 wouldn't have happened if he was President because there wouldn't have been any buildings dedicated to world trade?

What Nintendo fails to realize is that video games used to be less expensive than doing drugs

Parts of my roof blew off just in time for this winter storm!

As a newly forming old man, do you know how awesome getting things done at the crack of dawn is? 10AM is like the 7PM of old man mornings. I can get so much done.

a man playing a guitar in a band with the words well i guess this is growing up ALT: a man playing a guitar in a band with the words well i guess this is growing up

TFW your insurance and taxes are hitting you up for your rejected wedding certificate.

"I've never done anything harmful" says the guy who called the diver who saved those kids in Thailand a pedophile before pushing a crypto scam on the social media site he bought to control the media narrative around his constant abuse of trans people including his own child.

arteries? More like farteries

Bombed my dick off at an open mic and had my wife pick me up like when you shit yourself at school.

Got chickens again. Nothing warms my oversized gorilla heart like the soft chirping of bird babies.

It's crazy that Trump's cognitive decline can't be measured because he started out as an illiterate Gumpian figure who failed upward so all these billionaires are just trying to Weekend at Bernie's the guy to their various functions so he can yell about 51st states like he can even count that high

Tesla dorks furiously scurrying to find other car companies with ties to Germany circa 1944 is hilariously tone-deaf.

You mean to tell me the same America that furiously supported vehicular travel and built highway systems through black and brown communities might also have been lowkey racist? 😱

Apprently we don't the energy anymore

Shit is going so bad even cryptocurrency is dipping, even the made-up dream money that our oligarchy is funding for their own made-up dream schemes is burning like a Cybertruck on a highway.

U.S. Military Dragged After Photos Of WWII Bomber Enola Gay Are Flagged For Removal Due To 'DEI' Purge They are a parody of themselves at this point.

They've become a parody of themselves.

It's crazy that people went from the Nuremburg defense to "it was just a prank, bro" and thought we wouldn't notice.

Melatonin?

The kind of autism I have is talking to people that I’ve known for 5+ years like they might not remember who I am.

Some guy on Reddit said I "won the internet" like 10 years ago, can I cash that in now or how does crypto work?

To keep adding onto rad large comics: Brendan Sagalow and Saul Trujillo are absolute murderers.

I second Jacob Wysocki, his short films on Youtube are amazing. Grab a nice tea and check out Tunnel Rave.

Also, if you're looking for fat comedians may I suggest me?

I’ve never trusted airplanes. I haven’t trusted airplanes since they came after Travis Barker. Stay woke.

I picked a great time to cut back on coffee.

Couldn't have picked a worse time to stop raising chickens though.

D&D but it’s Dowagers & Dowries and it’s just Bridgerton role playing

Is everyone high at Red Lobster or is it just me?