no.

[after every single pitch] that’s baseball for ya

woah that looks sick!

men will say they like radiohead, but then they don’t like it when i am a creep???

life is truly a rich tapestry

why they would subject themselves to such things is beyond the reach of science

people in the row in front of you on airplanes love to be watching the fakest-looking marvel movies imaginable

oh my god

wow this list is making the internet good and fun. thank u for the brave work u do, bad poster dot lol 🫡

forum wars took over the government. the 10,000-page thread spilled out into the streets. people are getting their doors blown open and hogtied so that nerds can win an online argument. they tanked the dollar and fucked the economy permanently to own you

no rule on the books that says you can’t do an improv routine at quaker meeting

confident that if they could, cats would smoke cigarettes

getting "the surgery" (98 additional legs)

southern elephant seal. face looks like a turd, no fuckin legs, completely unserious mammal. you would be ashamed to have your heart broken by this guy

must suck to be a elephant seal. you get your heart broken by some loser, and your friends wanna know what he looked like, and then you gotta show them a picture and he looks like this

we're smoking tylenol. i injected myself with 80 gallons of horse vaccine and it turned me into a telekinetic mutant with unfathomable psychic potential. if that pussy isn't autistic, i don't want it. this shit ain't nothing to me man

Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie Brown and he is sent flying into the air. He shouts "AAUGH!" Instead of falling, Charlie Brown continues flying into the sky. He says "ha ha yes, it is finally happening..." He continues upward "I am ascending to the realm of God to take my fated place at his right hand." He goes up even further "this the reward for my endless suffering! This is my reward!!!" Lucy looks on in disbelief.

Releasing some Patreon comics over the next few days.

me at 2am: i know you are tired, but you have to write this idea down. if you don’t you will lose this precious idea forever. just pick up your phone, open notes, and write it down

me at 2pm: what is a “rhino mouse”??? why do i have a note that just says “rhino mouse”?

sure!

had to go off my adhd meds for medical reasons and since then i have become….. fully feral. a wild animal with a cushy office job. i cannot work or think. my teeth feel insane. i must return to the woods

oh, carol i am sooo sorry that i haven’t responded to your email yet i was busy howling at the moon and also rearranging all the furniture in my living room

Charlie Kirk’s Legacy Deserves No Mourning The white Christian nationalist provocateur wasn't a promoter of civil discourse. He preached hate, bigotry, and division

I wrote my own Charlie Kirk obituary, and about valuing truth over manners: www.thenation.com/article/poli...

calling into work with the ol’ “end of summer blues”

somebody come to my house and punch me straight in the head until i fall into a peaceful slumber

By age 33 you should be completely inept, dumb ass , can't open up, falling a lot, tripping on shoelaces, forget to tie shoes, start wearing velcro shoes, trip on other crap, fall and hit face on pavement, blood everywhere, bleeding face

sleep is so stupid. you’re telling me i have to lie here doing nothing, completely disconnected from reality for 8 hours a day or else i will feel like shit and then die…. but also i am complete ass at it. takes me hours before i can even get started. like bro this sucks

they too hear the ocean’s siren call

it is theorized that, by the end of this calendar year,, a working iphone 5se will have developed basic theory of mind and a vast unspeakable yearning to return to the sea

sometimes the erratic behaviors are just other more different art