no.

Here's the thing about Bluesky vs other platforms:

*10 to 15 hours of static white noise as your brain converts into liquid because the computer is evil and always has been*

Got it hot shot?!?

i am just a creature,…. i was not born to enter 6 digit code……..

when u make me do 2 factor auth…….. every tiem ….. it is a Wound upon my soul….. do not make me….. please i am jsut innocent little guy

hi sharks i’m here today seeking $47 million for a 2% stake in my invention “tater tots that kill you”

liberal walking into the car dealership: i want the second shittiest car you have. i will buy it for literally any price

🎶 welcome to the hotel Normal Hotel
🎶 checkout with the clerk
🎶 that's how hotels work
🎶 plenty of room at the hotel Normal Hotel
🎶 we won't keep you here
🎶 that's a crazy fear

remember: you don’t have to work harder at your job to show that you’re better than ai

the smart play is to talk up ai as much as possible, do a buncha shit work that makes more work for other people, && spend more time playing minesweeper in the shitter

rock and roll baby let’s go

AI tooling is an absolute productivity gamechanger for me! I used to waste so much time waiting for my enemies to paint elaborate, realistic murals on the sides of buildings. Now I that I can automate all that, I am free to focus on my true passion: running directly into concrete walls at top speed.

(neither is bluesky)

it’s okay threads isn’t real. none of that stuff counts

Mouseflict Setting:

Wrote something really short in preparation to hopefully start sharing more work. Please read Mouseflict.
alejandrokolleeny.substack.com/p/mouseflict

wow i can’t believe i was finally learning to see the beauty in small moments and to experience the present and the self without fear, right as society was collapsing in stupider ways than anyone had even considered previously. ahh well. next time, perhaps

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

✨✨daily affirmations✨✨

your hairdresser thinks that you’re funny.

she likes your little jokes and stories.

she thinks you have cool hobbies and a rich inner life.

she appreciates your chill attitude about your hair.

at no point did she think you were “”freaking out” or something

me and tony soprano, we got very different problems, sure, but i think the therapy is probably the same, give or take

you don't have to go to therapy, you can just watch a tv show where the character goes to therapy—that counts

aging like fine iphone

*getting sworn in as the mayor with my hand on a copy of the DSM-5*

i am timothee chalamet

please i am so tired

i will give you a one mmillion dollar if u come to my house and hit me over da head with a rubber mallet until i fall down asleep with liytle birds circling my head like a cartoon character

don't you
spaghett about me

life hack: wanna save time and energy?

try showering less!

you may be wondering how that works.

well it's like this: it doesn't matter if you shower or not.

in fact, it doesn't matter if you do anything at all.

that's because nothing matters.

that's right folks—you're depressed.

Okay.

meme of woman crawling across a desolate field towards a house in the distance desolate field is labeled “the mortifying ordeal of drinking water” house is labeled “the comfort of doing drugs”

i don’t even remember posting this. dang it must be that inscrutable god-demon that speaks through me yet again

alas, if only there were some way to use my platform (roughly 1000 disinterested accounts on a completely irrelevant microblogging platform) to do something actuall ly meaningful (personally lucrative morally bankrupt)

star warrest gump

i have no idea what the movie forrest gump is about. not one single notion. it could have aliens in it. or santa claus. or full frontal nudity. maybe he buys a zoo. nobody tell me, it is important to my lore that i remain ignorant of thi