Springing Forward Owen Meany

I mean, except the approval of your family, loved ones, society...you know, the uncool.

Nothing stopping you, champ!

Schedule that colonoscopy!

Happy 39th Birthday to The Joshua Tree, the best U2 album. 🎂💿

Don Drape Mad Men pitch meme. The sign has been edited to say “make it suck shit.”

the tech industry

Overruled.

I do enjoy that, but nowhere near as much as daylight after 8 PM.

People think it's sad when your dad goes out to get cigarettes and doesn't come home, but it's even sadder when he comes back empty-handed. Shop wouldn't sell him any. Said he's not cool enough to smoke. Said he could have only have a scented candle.

Inadvertently set the thermometer 1hr ahead yesterday and now
I’m wearing a Speedo reading an Updike novel on the beach

But if they are in line, stay in line!

They will need to take a number.

The Dipshit Experience

As a proponent of Super Daylight Saving Time (an extra hour from May 1 - Labor Day), I'm willing to entertain this suggestion.

I usually work 11-7 (AM-PM) so, if anything, I could use ANOTHER hour or two of Daylight Savings. Let's all do it again next Sunday!

LET'S HEAR BOTH SIDES!

"Sir. Please do not. Sir! No thank you."

I've seen this movie!

Karambit - Wikipedia

Watched my second action movie where the villain fights with two karambit, and if someone ever wanted to fight me with those, I would say “please do not!” in a firm voice because they are scary af. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karambit

I aspire to be the strange lady who makes working men nervous. Then I take them in and give them breakfast

You must be so mad rn. (I can't tell)

Good! That should help.

I dunno, living behind a brick wall in somebody's basement sounds kind of relaxing.

They had to say my name 2-3 times to wake me up to tell me to hold my breath.

I've done that!

You'll only need a hose to siphon gas. So you'll drink a *little* gas.

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR DANES DC 1. You must not go to work for ICE 2. You shall do a bad job for ICE 3. You shall work slowly for ICE 4. You shall destroy inportant nachines and tools 5. You shall destroy everything which may be of value to ICE 6. You shall delay all transport 7. You shall boycott all ICE supporter films and papers 8. You aust not shop at ICE supporters' stores 9. You shall treat traitors for what they are worth 20. You shall protect anyone chased by ICE IT WORKED FOR DENMARK IN 1940 & IT CAN WORK FOR DC IN 2026.

Petworth, Washington, DC

The irony just broke what's left of my brain.

I just can't catch a break. It's Manatee mating season here in Florida but my antidepressants are killing my libido. 😡

I think making oil prohibitively expensive could save the world actually

I know it would have been easy to slip.