Springing Forward Owen Meany

They had to say my name 2-3 times to wake me up to tell me to hold my breath.

I've done that!

You'll only need a hose to siphon gas. So you'll drink a *little* gas.

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR DANES DC 1. You must not go to work for ICE 2. You shall do a bad job for ICE 3. You shall work slowly for ICE 4. You shall destroy inportant nachines and tools 5. You shall destroy everything which may be of value to ICE 6. You shall delay all transport 7. You shall boycott all ICE supporter films and papers 8. You aust not shop at ICE supporters' stores 9. You shall treat traitors for what they are worth 20. You shall protect anyone chased by ICE IT WORKED FOR DENMARK IN 1940 & IT CAN WORK FOR DC IN 2026.

Petworth, Washington, DC

The irony just broke what's left of my brain.

I just can't catch a break. It's Manatee mating season here in Florida but my antidepressants are killing my libido. 😡

I think making oil prohibitively expensive could save the world actually

I know it would have been easy to slip.

Text saying "You've read your last free article."

Jacked action hero with goon in headlock, in raspy yet firm voice:

We'll get 'em tomorrow.

🏆
For Staying on Track

@finchinabq.bsky.social It's 6 PM! You're late for dinner!

It just got dark! Great job, everyone! We did it. We saved daylight.

We should set the clocks ahead everyday until we live in the future.

Awww, that's the best. I miss that.

This James Bond book has M dining at his club and paying with a £5 note as always because it's the club's policy to give members only "freshly minted money" as change. Honestly, one of the coolest club perks I've ever heard of.

We've done that. It did work. We used a mail order compounding pharmacy that wasn't *totally* outrageous.

Announcer: everyone please stand for the Midwest national anthem

*the Menard’s jingle starts playing*

Your brain: *already three episodes deep on the LEGION rererewatch*

I've missed Toothbrush Reviews by PAM!.

so, you're telling me Marty Supreme is not a burger or chalupa of some kind?

It's a Marty with sour cream and guacamole and it's $3 more.

a man in a suit and tie says i don t think about you at all Alt: John Hamm on Mad Men wearing a suit and tie says "i don't think about you at all."

The only reply...

DAMN! Nice work!

Librarian: “The book you reserved about clocks is in.”
Me: “It’s about time!”

Happy Birthday, you woman!

The "danger" signs in the Paris Metro are so wonderfully melodramatic, stylized, and lovingly rendered. They all feel like album covers, or T-shirts, for either Ska or New Wave bands.

In Daylight Soviet Time, clock changes YOU.

I don't care for this New Eight; I'm staying in bed until Eight Classic.

[seeing a notification pop up on my ancient Egyptian wife's phone] Honey, who's Sideways Man Sideways Man Adder?