SeaTea

I understand that, when my dog stops on our walks to sniff every goddamn twig and each freakin’ blade of grass, she is decoding, deciphering, and analyzing the complicated world around her, but what I can’t quite figure out is exactly what she plans on doing with that information.

So Russia is helping Iran target American troops. Ukraine is offering drone defense.

Guess who Trump NEVER ONCE has EVER criticized?

Correct. Russia

Do the people who think chatbots are alive also worry that popcorn is angry at them because it's so loud?

🏆 add one more to the collection, Jake.

Challenge for those saying Claude isn't conscious:

Then how come we are in love?

This is *nothing* dignified about wearing a cheap baseball cap that promotes yourself to the otherwise solemn ceremony to receive the bodies of the troops you had killed to distract from your bad economy and rampant pedophilia.

I was born to work in a local video store for the rest of my life but unfortunately technology robbed me of my best existence

All of us with flaming marshmallow scars send you good wishes for an uneventful evening. 🔥

You can open it up next to my new classic automobile storage venture for obnoxious people: Boorish Car Loft.

Everyone ridiculed me when I refused to adjust my clocks last Fall.

Who's laughing now, Suckas!!!!

Bwah Ha Ha. 🤣🤣🤣

🤔

gonna start a porch furniture making company called Lawn Chairney Jr. has this been done before

🔔 𝘗𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Saturday Nonsense - Songs ruined by GPS:

I'll start.

"Do you know the way to San Jose?" by Dionne Warwick

Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know.

I got no time for hoodie strings. I use them to tie up tomatoes or hold up my failing exhaust, those manner of things

Got fired from my job as a porn star bc I couldn’t stop saying GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST during the money shots

They know we’re never gonna oil those cutting boards, lubricate those chains, rotate those tires, change those filters. We lie to ourselves that we will, they abide by it, and the transaction ensues. Mendacity is the bedrock of consumer capitalism.

I can never walk past a sugar maple without saying I’d tap that

When I wake up I am always a little trepidatious about opening Bluesky and seeing the posts I made after the sleep gummies kicked in. 🫣

Grandpa Simpson giving a boring lecture to Bart and his friends

"See, that's where everyone gets confused. ICP is a posse composed of insane clowns. If it was a posse chasing after insane clowns, that'd be a whole different thing."

As far as I can understand it, Corey Lewandowski's role during these administrations is to get caught having affairs and ruin other people's careers.

I would be a lousy newspaper Editor-in-Chief. I'm just one of those weirdos who thinks that if a sitting US President has been accused in a statement to the zBI of forcing sex on a 13 to 15-year-old girl should get more attention than a President wearing a tan suit.

🎶There Must be 50 Ways to Cheese Your Lover:

You just slip out the back Pepper Jack

Make a new plan. Parmesan

Hop on the tram, Edam

Dont need to discuss much

Just drop off the key Brie and get yourself free. 🎶

I hope that someday those Kraft singles find love.

A brown and white dog with a concerned look sits up straight and looks into the camera. On the floor next to them is an animal skin rug with matching coloring to theirs.

sometimes all it takes is a little subtle messaging to improve your pet’s behavior

So the same Russia telling Iran how to better kill Americans is now being rewarded by America?

He should be prosecuted just for that

Thanks to the free buffet at the strip club, I only wound up spending 600 dollars.