𓏵

i know he’s going through it rn too finically but it really doesn’t give me any satisfaction because i didn’t want this in the first place

i asked the wrong person apparently bc not once did he help me with tito. and the one time he took tito to the vet he held that over my head for a while
when im the one who cleaned, fed, and bought tito in the first place

and i also recently asked him if he could take tito bc my mom is kind of cheap and the ac was really hot today and tito was hot and im very worried he’ll die on me
and he told me to speak up about it lol

we opened up a credit card in my name a few years back bc we were going to pay it off together right and we’re still paying it off and i have a payment due tomorrow and he won’t take responsibility lol

i care for him and love him still but he’s oissing me off so much

you were but a man child when we got together and i molded you into a model citizen and you wanna spew bs?

everytime i talk to my husband i want ton bang my head against the wall

i saw my husband (ex husband? idk what to call him anymore lmao) and he got a piercing lol ok

what i wanted my husband to do was to physically take me to find a therapist bc i just couldn’t bring myself to do it
and i did ask for help i was drowning and he saw it but it was always
you need to find a job
you need to go to the gym
you need to eat better

i miss you

i’m tired

there’s no fixing this and i just have to accept that

had to delete my facebook and deactivate my personal instagram so there’s no way my ex can reach out to me and i don’t reach out to him

finally told my cousins what happen and they’re telling me i’m not crazy
which is a relief

yeah bc i did it all by myself

my ex is labeling me as the bad guy

i feel so stupid and dumb

who am i without my significant other lol

i just wish we hadn’t gotten married if this was going to happen

i had mentally checked out then

ngl i feel nothing rn
i had been mentally preparing myself for this separation since december

he knows what he did and i want to scream it to the world but im not going to air out our dirty laundry

it’s not all my fault and he knows it

god i want to scream

my whole existence is burdensome huh

then i became a burden when i left my job bc it was literally causing all these health issues

he didn’t take my pain seriously when i had that bag migraine episode
i wouldn’t go to the hospital bc he told me i didn’t need to and that it would go away

i just realized while typing my heart out
that i was just an inconvenience to my husband

i’m the problem and i ruined everything

i hate having bpd