Angry Santa Elf

If you asked for LEGO and got Mega Bloks instead, would you be happy? No. Remember that when we ask for keys to your liquor cabinet and you leave out milk for us instead.

Santa claimed an elf protestor hurled an entire tray of lasagna at him. Jury found there’s no way an elf could afford lasagna on what Santa pays us.

ICE says they will arrest Santa if he appears in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. So Canada, get ready to see Santa in your Giant Tiger Uh, Our Thanksgiving Was LAST Month holiday parade!

Santa said the only reason his elves voted against his policies is because all his policies are anti-elf. Otherwise, he said "I would have won 100% of the vote because the elves love me."

Santa said the only reason his elves voted against his policies is because all his policies are anti-elf. Otherwise, he said "I would have won 100% of the vote because the elves love me."

Santa claims doctor tests show he is peak physical condition and has the best brain ever. So maybe this is the year you finally stop believing in Santa Claus.

Santa is now saying all elves need an Exclusive Elf ID to vote. All Exclusive Elf Ids are given only to those named "Santa."

Santa is losing his shit over the fact an elf won in the Elf Union election last night and is citing this as proof elves should not be allowed to vote on elf concerns.

It’s amazing how much work I get done now that I just scream 24/7 instead of wasting time trying to solve my problems.

We are now contractually obligated to tell kids “Santa says hi” to their single moms.

Thanks to this job Santa Elves live just long enough to wish polar bear attacks were more frequent.

Every Labubu doll comes with an agenda. Apparently. They're all cackling evil about something here.

Everyone's getting the same gift this year. It's an eternal flame.

Let's get ready for 2025
#HappyNewYear #NewYear #NewYearsEve

Still time to watch this, with Christmas tree lights reflecting on the screen.

Happy #BoxingDay

Happy #BoxingDay, when Santa stores all the elves in boxes until next November so we can't look for better jobs in the offseason

Happy Hanukkah!

Merry Christmas!!!

From Bermuda to Puerto Rico to back to the North Pole to find every elf drunk and pairing off with various toys.

In Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. Time for me to finally eat dinner, otherwise known as the Floam I found left on the floor of the sleigh since 1993.

In Nunavut, Canada. Each year we deliver 12 billion gifts. Each year we get seven thank you letters, five clearly written by Santa.

To Greenland. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be life if I hadn't helped Santa move that couch into his van and wound up in a pit on the North Pole.

Deleted Scenes from the "Star Wars Holiday Special"

Approaching Trinidad and Tobago and the realization my eyes are now frozen open and I can no loner blink.

As we approach Brazil I am reminded of the classic poem that I just wrote that goes "I can't take this anymore/Please Dancer/Fly me away."

In Tunisia, known as Tatooine depending on which map you use.

In Madrid, where Santa just asked for my Christmas bonus back because of a "bad investment," which is his phrase for "making children happy."

To Bilbao, where everyone knows the museum but no one remembers Jim. Jim is nice.

To Andorra la Vella Andorra, which is the greatest villainess name ever