Alex Halpern

Karen my favorite time of the month is when my food and wine arrives in the mail and I get to pretend for half hour like I am the sort of person who would make the recipes in it

One of the true pleasures of my adult life has been waking up early on rainy fall Sunday mornings to drink coffee and read the news before anyone else in my house is up and the news has taken that away from me and I will never forgive it.

Have you guys tried wearing glasses

Once broken, I don’t have any idea how this is fixed before countless children are irreparably harmed.

As a school board member I can say without hesitation that this is going to break the financial back of many districts while genuinely harming untold thousands of families across the country. Special education services are a bedrock of our social contract that have had no party lines until now.

This is all so weird, Cassie

Ooooh that’d be good

Nah I say give it to JD Vance

Sometimes it is frustrating that I am effectively and properly represented in the senate, but at least I have Janelle Bynum to be disappointed in

How awful, I knew her through school board stuff, she was lovely.

Weird, we did Shabbat ShaBANG where we all fired guns into the air every time the rabbi sang aaaameeeeen

I love this for her

I’m sorry he is what

He’s not?

Phillies will always be my number 2. Much of my family is still there, as I like to say, “Philly is where my grandad went to temple and to Temple.”

My man

Wow do not feel that way about my friends who are dodger fans tbh

So I guess I’m saying…start saving for round 2

You guys essentially bankrolled my first campaign

But Alex you don’t even live in Portland anymore, you live in the suburbs.

Shut up just shut up.

If I’m being totally honest I’m not in Portland right now, I’m in Salem for the day, so for all I know the city burned down this morning after I left.

Antifa never heard of her

The trees are changing, it’s lovely

That is exactly what they are doing

Please don’t call me though, I am a millennial and I will let it go to voicemail.

Tell you what, this all really sucks man.

There are two stores with windows like right down the street from me smh

We don’t have stores Kevin, we have socialized barter depots.

Our zoo is GREAT