Redacted Pancakes

it’s always sunny in philadelphia title card: "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis"

it’s time to study the old texts

I logged out. I can't.

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

This mfer looks like a hairless Muppet

a copy of the onion newspaper with an ad for “live mule execution by hydraulic press — only on cbs, tuesdays at 8pm eastern”

shout out to print media

A picture of Marco Rubio shoes that are too large for him

I’m a grown man who works for the president of the United States who is afraid to not wear the shoes he bought me that do not fit

lol

Just killed a man's whole family and accidentally installed him as leader of Iran. We created Super Vengeance Boy and are just assuming he'll leave us alone.

Today's internet winner:

Excuse me

I mean look at this shit

This mfer is teaching a new topic today, but we have the exam on Thursday (this lesson not in included). I'm not retaining any of this. I just want to go to bed.

I’ve got an exam this week, think I might peace out for a while unless IT happens.

owner: you got that sculpture for out front of my ice cream store done?

sculptor: sure do boss. real fucking sexy just like you asked

owner: what

Oh so today is the semi-annual 401-K Destruction Day, huh?

I love Econ-positng. Dan Habsmith of Guttermeyer Associates posts the most confusing chart you've ever seen and says "Quite surprising VARG numbers, SPLG index showing movement" and you get the context by one of his mutuals quoting it with "Buy a fucking gun and head for the hills. Right now."

and the whole family just walks in there. certifiable shit.

Failed to add context here: This phrase is an ISIS slogan.

This situation does not smell like a hoax or an op. It does smell like teens radicalized online and groomed into wanting to commit a legitimate act of terrorism on behalf of ISIS.

love how we killed the old, frail anti-nuke ayatollah just to have him replaced with his young, healthy son who wants nukes and who just had his father, mother, wife, and child murdered on the same day by his mortal enemy. surely this will bring peace to the region

I can't handle anything of what's going on....

Part of Trump’s mass appeal (and of why he’s so dangerous) is that he really seems to share Joe Barstool’s worldview that there are no complex problems: Everything has a simple brute solution, which previous leaders were somehow too stupid or weak to deploy.

How will this affect the Riyadh comedy scene

*because

“Gonna set up some ping pong tables for the Rev Guard, that’s what I call our Revolutionary Guard troops…Get that competition going”

Have you seen my Faith, Family, Fatah tattoo?

iran venezuela

🤝
launching
vs. israel

Twist! The Clock Master is a WOMAN! The original Clock Master was her FATHER. She took over changing the clock after he DIED in a tragic CLOCK ACCIDENT! But the clock is FAILING and she doesn't know why! Can this unconventionally attractive traveling ROGUE MECHANIC help her before it's too late?!

Go deeper: Donald Trump didn't get to buy the Baltimore Colts in 1981, or the Dallas Cowboys in 1984, or the New England Patriots in 1988, or Buffalo Bills in 2014....

First off…first off…happy, happy…International Women’s Day