h. p. heisler

well she fought valiantly but i did successfully close her.

final doodads of class... i go home tomorrow... 🥲

y'know it took a while for me to finish all the stages of grief of being medically told i can't have coffee anymore but i have instead become a hot chocolate person the last two years with no regrets.

YouTube video by PlayOverwatch Vendetta | New Hero Gameplay Trailer | Overwatch 2

overwatch has begun to understand that for monetization of virtual dolls it does need to make 3/4ths of character releases slightly generic hotties but also? they're awesome? and genuinely consistently well written with great cast dynamics? and i am twelve years old? youtu.be/c3guhZL477Q?...

five weeks in and i have like finally begun to standardize a notation system for myself that makes it easy for me to understand everything. it would be fun to eventually clean it up, color it, tone it, etc.

honestly sewing will be so much easier when i have time to draw myself ikea furniture diagrams on how to do everything i learned here.

i promise only to be a little annoying about wicked. just a little. as a treat.

only three more sleeps on the least comfortable sheets in the world... what a dream...

it's just something i need to relitigate to people a lot. it's important to clarify.

it's like playing dragon's dogma. i need to be able to climb something.

you need to understand this about me i am only attracted to taller men becuase i enjoy the challenge of toppling them.

home of the humble marshmallow peep... i salute tee...

want to know how many needles were hiding in the depths of this pincushion. this many.

on the same highway i drive past both shartlesville and bethlehem and also nazareth is nearby. i have to admit completely arbitrary random names all next to each other is my favorite american feature. juat pan around a random region and zoom in.

i don't know how else to say this but the new map being added to infinity nikki in 2.0 is named "itzaland" and i am being lead to believe that it might be a land? do you think it's a land?

the saddest part about my trip is genuinely that i missed an entire infinity nikki banner and i am genuinely embarassed by how much this saddens me.

four more days of classroom time i am going to steal as many patterns as i can.

YouTube video by h. p. heisler HURRICANE SEASON - ft. Frimomen

when hurricane season comes & goes again
honey i need to hear it straight
is there a reason that you still pretend
you're hurrying home through all this rain?

youtu.be/48cx1jvVAq8?...

what did you just call me?

i like the genre of media written by men about being a sexy badass babe with a gun who is also grappling with motherhood in a weirdly sincere way.

they're like action movies about being a grizzled dad and saving your son except you're a woman wearing a chunky heel. a sort of female dad.

we are now watching the anime which appears to be what if the britney spears break the ice anime was real and to be continued.

we are watching ultraviolet (2008) tonight and i cannot believe how much it's like 80% of the plot of bayonetta which does mean i think it's awesome.

i want men curating pinterest boards of things they think would be cool or sexy or cute to wear. i want us trying to closet cosplay as our favorite characters.

i want us to all apologize to hipsters for wearing suspenders and bowties and hats. we should wear hats. for safety. from the sun.

hanging out with menswear people has also really helped me articulate my politics around clothing. like, i hate the modern state of play for menswear. but i think aspiring to return to a "better" era of it is even more ghoulish. i want men to be able to play. i want us to play. this is about play.

also the sooner i figure out a pattern for high waisted breeches the sooner i never need to dress normal ever again.

i am finally learning how to be stubborn and precocious without losing empathy for myself. i can simultaneously accept there are things i might always struggle with without letting them define my potential.

like. i make pie crust even though i have hot hands. it's fine. it's literally fine.

that sensitivity hasn't gone away. the hot faces and welling tears and subsequent fear of scrutiny and humiliation still happened to me a lot here.

but i am learning how to put out the fires. i know how to bring the temperature back down. i feel like myself again within minutes, not hours or days.

this has been educational in just teaching my brain how to process failure, really.

before i learned my brain just medically experiences every emotion at maximum intensity, failure used to be so humiliating to stomach that it caused me to stop making anything. or even feeling pride at all.

this has been the most meaningfully challenged i have been in a while. i've cried a lot. i have messed simple things up over and over again that everyone else in the class understood. i have felt very stupid! but i also haven't had a bad mood that lasted more than thirty minutes. i haven't given up.