Chloe Thonus

Yay!!! Looks like it could be from a deer but unsure

Fitbit: Wow look at you exercise
Me: *Sitting still at the doctor's office very very anxious*

Joggers just be jogging anywhere huh. I can be having a mental breakdown in an empty alleyway in the rain and some jogger just jogs on by all jauntily. I've seen joggers effortless jog on by while I trudge to work through a blizzard fighting for my life. They can't be stopped.

Every time I see a comment on reddit about how tattoos are ugly or especially about how women with tattoos are ugly I go schedule a new tattoo appointment.

I'm getting a chameleon once my bonus hits

Explained how I solved the LinkedIn game Tango to one of my friends and she endorsed my communication skills.

Sometimes during my podcast research I discovered a poorly maintained Wikipedia page and decide I need to go fix it.

Screw talents, anyone got an anti-talent? I am incapable of making a good smoothie. It's always bad no matter what I put it in

I agree on this! I like a good veggie burger, crispy tofu, mushrooms, plant based meals that don't require meat or try to replace it basically.

I actually find most vegan meat extremely off putting because it's too similar to real meat and my brain doesn't know what to do about that.

We ended up hiring this guy. He did not comment on the pirate costume. I spoke normally and took it seriously I was just dressed like a pirate.

There is nothing I love more than putting myself in incredibly silly scenarios

I think my pettiest red flag is people who say they don't like vegetarian food. That's not a cuisine it's things that are not meat like do you dislike every fruit and vegetable and grain???

a man in a leather jacket is making a funny face while looking at the camera . ALT: a man in a leather jacket is making a funny face while looking at the camera .

"Chloe do you even know how to make madeleines?" No but I'm figuring it out and hoping for the best. If they're ugly I'll just eat the entire batch myself.

So I impulsively ordered madeleine pans online so now I'm making madeleines at 11 AM for no reason I guess

Haha yes! They matched the rest of my outfit too well, I am also a little surprised I did not break my ankles at some point

Hell yeah! Was awesome to meet you briefly, I was the short woman in the burgundy suit. Very powerful gala this year especially.

Haha this one is pretty great

Me: Don't buy used technology! It's risky and can come with malware, hardware faults, may be stolen, no warranty, and has a very high risk of being falsely advertised and getting you scammed

Also me: Fuck yeah 40 dollar eBay iPad

Every time I'm actually working my manager doesn't go near me. It's the one minute a day I am trying to see if I can order Fritos online that he manifests behind me.

Tasty

That's possible. I should stop buying them because inevitably I will have an edible on the weekend and then eat the entire bag. This has happened multiple times.

Short people do y'all ever get smacked in the face by a grocery store item you're trying to reach for but just end up knocking over. A bag of vegan marshmallows landed directly on my face recently.

Nextdoor generally sucks but this is probably the funniest notification I've ever received

I don't care what pbrun stands for. It's peanut butter run.

I am an IT professional. I don't know how to type é on a standard US keyboard so every time I need to I copy and paste it from the Wikipedia article for Beyoncé which I always have open in a tab.

Googled "does my cat know I love him" and started crying

Not sure what I was cooking w this

May or may not be able to release Bite Sized Cyber Crime due to being sick. My voice is rather shot at the moment

Amazing

A screenshot from the citizen app that reads "someone on couch in someone else's yard" 16.3 miles away at 7431 S Calumet Ave. The timeline reads "There's putting down roots and then there's putting down a couch. Police received a report someone out down the couch and is now chilling in someone else's yard. It's unclear if they also brought a space heater."

Really glad Citizen sends me push notifications for the most important, gritty, serious crimes in the city of Chicago that the liberals don't want you to know about.

Being an adult who never grew up eating peanuts but is trying to eat a more plant based diet has me reinventing the PB&J and thinking I am a genius.

(Using almond butter tho I don't like peanuts)

At trivia yesterday the picture round category was financial services company logos.

I work at a financial services company. We did well.