pan dulce

I taught him how to watch YouTube, now he’s doing it without me

I deleted Twitter off my phone

The I remember she moved in with some guy she met on MapleStory. He lived all the way in jersey, halfway across the United States. So dumb. I don’t know what I ever saw in her

She wasn’t my crush after that hahaha

This one time I overheard my high school crush talking to this other dude she liked and she told him she gave her ex a bj. And he was all “did he cum in your mouth?” And she was all “well, yeah, that’s why they call it giving head.”

Ps2 shooters racketboy.com/retro/the-pl...

Sometimes I wish I lived in one of those neighborhoods where everyone decorates their crib like in Christmas with the Kranks. It's beautiful

KNOCKERS

I’ll check it out. The only proper Godzilla movie I’ve seen is the 1999 one?

I can’t play poker I’m too giggly

think I’m gonna get up now and play more of that Mario and Luigi game. Maybe have GoldenEye playing in the background

Bright and colorful Famicom carts

Definitely! I love arranging them by color like a little freak lmao

I can’t be friends with you if you’re a Nazi sympathizer because that will make ME friends with a Nazi sympathizer by proxy!

Blossom throwing a computer into the batch to make her sister Bunny

I’m playing the new Mario and Luigi game. 7/10 not bad so far. Their voices are so annoying.

Courage throwing a fresh bird at Bigfoot

Can’t believe those mfs made me come in to work on Black Friday

I ate too much pie 😭

Handbanana stalking Carl

You, uh, basting that turkey today?

I’m thankful for booty

I don’t understand the appeal of Godzilla movies. Wow a giant monster fighting another giant monster, destroying the city and our livelihoods. But he’s occasionally on our side when the plot demands him to… stupid fucking movies

I went to bed around 10:30 now I’m up at 5 am

It’s a freaky, freaky sound.
Guaranteed to astound.
As you left yourself go,
in the Adrenaline flow

Damn, baby, are you a baby? Cause u look like one. Oh you are, damn nvm

ow my aching tentacles

I remember this one time at church, I overheard this dude in my youth group say “I’m glad my girlfriend was a virgin when we met.”

I’m gonna start posting in Bluesky more often since everyone is here now

Good riddance

I wasted my 20’s being a dumb bitch

Never bet on a race if you can’t remember which horse you drugged.

I keep forgetting I have this app