K. Vale Nagle

Donate to Support My Move and Medical Needs in Colorado, organized by Neal Deschain In 2024, my community helped me move from Florida to Colorado. I am so ha… Neal Deschain needs your support for Support My Move and Medical Needs in Colorado

I am moving at the beginning of May. I need $900 to help with April bills and another $4800 or so to pay security deposit and first months rent at the new place. Deadlines are quickly approaching and I am tapped out with the amount of work I can take on. Help is greatly appreciated.

Maybe they worry about offending someone by implying they're shrinking?

My husband has had 5' to 5'4" measurements, so maybe this is just how it is. +/- 2 inches.

Askel, a whistling kite gryphon, holding celebratory fireworks at the Redwood Valley Eyrie, where he will never be invited back to.

Victory!

Graph of Vale's height that is specifically never 6'—6'4".

Tall Nurse at the research clinic, where I was wearing very tall shoes: "You look like you couldn't be taller than 6', MAX."

Short nurse at the doctor's office, where I was in sandals: "You look like you can't be any shorter than 6'4", MINIMUM."

They should invent a way to measure someone's height

This is me right now. Ugh, feel like I want to sleep for a week but I have got to get real exercise.

I can cheer it along, if you want!

I think that makes the updates go faster.

Oooh, looks great!

Oh my gosh, that is so cute!

Out of nowhere, my husband asked to play my WoW account last weekend. I felt bad that it had been inactive for months. I do usually play when I'm in pain, but I don't have money for the new expansion yet, so I'm holding off in protest of finances =)

quadrikeets

If you ever want to read a paper for free and can't find it otherwise, email the lead author and politely ask for a copy. You will not be bothering the person. You will in fact make their whole entire day. I have had scientists get so excited I asked they sent me everything they ever published.

Just in case you somehow forgot, we're saying it, again, EVEN LOUDER: 🏳️‍⚧️TRANS. RIGHTS!!!🏳️‍⚧️ Rep your colors with this fan-favorite design from @kduffles.bsky.social with $6 from each tee sold donated to the Transgender Law Center: theyetee.com/TRANSRIGHTS

Congratulations on your upcoming HRT!

Jobs are tricky, especially now. Take care of yourself, but I hope you can come out there, too.

I wonder if social transition phase one is internet strangers. Phase two is close friends. Phase three is family, and four is work.

Someone once said I had been their male role model, which feels awkward as a girl.

But let's be honest here. Men whose male role models are trans women are only in danger of one thing: become TOO awesome.

😼

(Though it's also a bit sad to think that my mom never considered being that role model? The pressure from church and friends about how "boys" really "need male role models" or they become criminals got inside her head, I think, as a single mom.)

I hope parents today are better about helping trans kids.

But also, I know lots of good cis men now who don't have male role models, so I don't think it's necessary, per se, for figuring out gender =)

It can help! But I think we all sorta know who we want to be deep inside.

I'm pretty sure if I'd come out then, they'd just have pushed more father figures at me to fix it.

My mom read all these books about male role models and raising boys, and it did a lot more damage than good.

I actually had great role models and tons of friends. Just none of them were male.

Gendered role models can be a tricky thing. My dad died when I was 11, and it was like this huge thing to make sure I had male role models, and I just... hated it. The intense pressure to be Correctly Male or it was somehow my dad's fault for dying really messed me up as I hit puberty.

That's the advantage of transhet t4t couples — I can explain the weird things cis men do for Glenn and he can explain cis women for me. Though it's more like "I don't understand it, but here's what cis guys expect from you in this situation..."

And sometimes we're both too autistic and shrug it off

You assumed correctly!

That's probably a good indicator. Though it did get confusing for me since I switched pronouns but nobody really noticed or used the right ones, and I didn't correct them.

But social is probably about us, personally, making a statement like that. Not the world being terrible.

Lei, a jade peafowl opinicus or earless gryphon, holding an egg in the trans pride colors. Chibi art by Kittrel AKA YoteNotes. Lei is fully out as transmasc in the novel The Ruins of Crestfall.

What about other trans people? When would you say you socially transitioned, and how would you define social transition for yourself?

Did you go to university in a more accepting place? I ended up in Georgia, which was probably worse. I kinda wonder what would've happened if I'd gone somewhere a bit more normal about everything LGBTQIA+.

So I have an easy answer for this one, because I made the switch in presentation/pronouns when I went from school to university (couldn't have presented as anything other than a cis girl at school, and I was at school 6 days a week from 9am to 9pm [3pm on Saturdays], so that was... most of my life)

Oh! That's a very clean switch =)

Did you grow up knowing that being trans was? I think most of my delays were just... not knowing anything. Florida wasn't a very trans friendly state.

Though I left my deadname behind forever when I went to college with a firm "Never again."

Lei, a jade peafowl opinicus or earless gryphon, holding an egg in the trans pride colors. Chibi art by Kittrel AKA YoteNotes. Lei is fully out as transmasc in the novel The Ruins of Crestfall.

What about other trans people? When would you say you socially transitioned, and how would you define social transition for yourself?

I suspect the doctor wanted a "On March 31st 2017 I put up a sign that said I am a girl, not a boy" and purchased she/her pronoun pins.

I kinda vibe with a blonde-haired three year old girl saying "Men aren't real"

But it made me realize I had no real definition for what social transition means

🧵

2017: I'm Valerie now.

2025: I let my mom and little brother know. And in-laws.

I do think the name change process, which stretches on for months, is also a form of social transition. Court orders, DMV, paperwork.

But it also feels very late in the process to be social transition.

🧵

Side note, but everyone treats you a lot better if your legal name and name on file are the same gender. I'm noticing that now. There is a real hostility to a masculine name + female nickname that faded after the change.

Anyways, this is when I told my family about the new name.

🧵

Is it social transition if cis people figure it out on their own?

It was 100F, so camis became my thing to beat the heat. I think this might count as social transition.

With the clothes, I finally started swapping my name on file to Valerie everywhere. Not just friends and in my head anymore.

🧵